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It's an argument you both can't win and only lose, for reasons. In my opinion, you both should agree on not talking about each other's ex again. I think you hold dislikes for his ex, which is the usual case for a lot of people. It's understandable. But I don't know every single word (or if you remember) you both had said back and forth during the fight to say he's on his ex's side (by his reply that you're crossing the boundary such) the whole picture of your relationship first. An ex is a part of the history of one's life, like any other life experience, unless the ex is dead AND a person has a total memory loss of his/her past. Therefore, you'd still issues even if your bf hated his ex. Try to focus on your relationship only. Toledo looking for first touch blow j
Dear compassionate one, Please never disregard your gut feelings about a person and/or situation. Disregarding our intuition usually lands us in a mess or in danger. You are obviously very wise and mature to pick up on these red flags. They are definitely not in your imagination. Your "friend" is obviously operating from a state of fear. Fear promotes irrational and neurotic thoughts and behaviors. He be suffering from some degree of post-traumatic stress syndrome, but would have to a professional for a diagnosis. It is not wrong, weak, or unhealthy for you to feel compassion for him for his losses and his current state of pain. However, as any professional counselor tell you, all your and compassion won't fix him. It is natural to be attracted to his positive attributes. But from the obsessive/compulsive behaviors he's demonstrated in such a very short period of time, his unhealthy side would dominate the relationship. His need to make it official so is an indication that he is not operating from a place a strength. He is making the very common mistake that of us often do by jumping back into a relationship to heal the wounds and fill the emptiness of the one(s) that previously ended. I one thing that you learned from this is that if something does not "feel" right, there is usually a valid reason. I have one important word for you boundaries! You compromised your boundaries in the beginning by giving in to his pressure for a commitment too. You recovered by re-establishing your boundaries by declaring that you not open your life to a person who does not respect your time, personal space, etc But do you how you felt bad for establishing that boundary with him.? There is a great book titled "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend that you find very insightful. I think anyone would benefit from reading that book. Boundaries can be tricky, but stick to your instincts. It's understandable that you his good side, but please don't trick yourself into thinking that you can somehow have the side without the weight and toll of the unhealthy. Perhaps you could find peace in praying for him.? Be intentional and determined to meet a guy who has his wonderful qualities. Please don't settle! Best wishes to you! looking 4 femalewarning flags He said no more clubs but there you were No more couples but a 3some the other night (not a couple, no, but an add'l partner) It's a boundary thing, he's not respecting the ones you've set clearly which makes every other boundary you set suspect. Even IF he were truly committed to changing (which it doesn't sound like he is) making the decision is only part of it his actions have to follow thru. In the meantime take care of you first, let him work on him in the meantime, but not at your expense senior dating
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