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It seems to me that, for example, in a V relationship (one person in the middle, the other two don't relate), each relationship find its own level, but most likely one person of the two on the ends of the V be primary most of the time. How can you shoot for absolute equality? Humanity is not that exact. It just isn't. Another side to the question you are asking is this: What happens to the longterm primary when the middle person meets another new partner who is suddenly the priority? NRE (new romance euphoria in poly-speak) is a force to be reckoned with. Longterm poly relationships usually have limits, reservations, boundaries etc. to guard against the loss of perspective that NRE brings. If the first person was the ONLY person, therefore the de facto primary, it must be quite unsettling to suddenly be secondary to a new person. Poly is very, very complicated and tough no matter how you look at it, and no matter where you currently are on the triangle or whatever shape the relationships take. horny older guy looking to playThe court orders the visitation so you can't stop it. go through phases, and you just have to put on a positive cheery attitude to help your. Maybe help her bake some cookies for daddy so the two of them can have a snack together at the next visit. Encourage her to bring a few fav toys. You choose to have a kid with this loser and unfortunately now the is suffering for it. But she'll live. Sounds like he wasn't abusive to her, so as Mom and primary caretaker and disciplinarian it's up to YOU to teach your that it's not ok to kick and yell. Maybe you're tolerating (or subtly encouraging) the -'s bad behavior because you're trying to manipulate your ex out of visitation. Shape up, Mom! fat sex
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