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is supposed to include oneself, yet humans tend to put themselves out of the running for the generosity and kindness they can so readily offer others. I'm working on it. It isn't always easy to be nice to me. It's less of a struggle than it once was, and I it eventually become my default response. At the moment, it takes practice and conscious application. I came around to this idea when I realized a few months ago that as my daughter approached adulthood, and began to make some of the mistakes I often make, that I was able to comfort and support her easily and have no sense that these stumbles made her stupid or lazy or weak; all things I say to myself about my own errors. My parents were either disinclined or unable to offer me the kind of support and I extend my daughter with and satisfaction. I wondered, then, if the answer wasn't to try and myself the way I her. To parent me with the same structure and tenderness I have applied to her upbringing. I think this shift has had more to do with the progress I've made recently than almost any other single decision. As an overarching approach to taking care of myself, it also leads me to make better choices than I would if I was just barreling through without the lens of "How would I do this if it was Hodie*?" So yeah. I'm learning to try and take my own advice more to heart. And, yes; I spend a fair amount of time alone, but I have good friends, and an excellent support system me. And, sharing my perspective with others not only makes me feel like I might be able to offer some meaningful insight, it also helps me process my own thoughts and feelings in a way that's very therapeutic. So, thank you all for YOUR perspectives. I derive great value from my time here. *My daughter has an ALIAS! How cool is that? handsome gent seeking vibrant gf for discrete affair
Finally found a nice work colleague willing to take time to go out to lunch. We've been going out to lunch every Monday for 3 months. Ten days ago he shows signs of interest in me and I decline: movie, dinner, ing him off-work and hanging out at his place with friends. On the tenth day he texts that he is interested. I say yes I'm aware, I prefer we be friends. But I'm having second thoughts. How can I tell if being work-friends is really OK with him? And avoid leading him on? friends firstthen maybeI have not felt well for a few years. Not as mobil as I should be, just not able to do the things i want physiy. The divorce probably didn't help and still having to deal with someone who not communicate doesn't help. I was diagnosed with CLL this year. Chronic Leucocytic leukemia Stage 0. Stage 0 because we only have initial and won't know more until bloodwork. In addition i have a colonoscopy and a transvaginal scope scheduled for this Friday. Not looking forward to either of them. These are to determine what is causinf lower left quadrent pain, nausea,and funky bowel. Did I say I hate being sick. I HATE BEING SICK! It has been raining for the last days which doesn't help. No family here in the north woods, friends but no one close. It has been a busy last 10 days as it was Sr. prom for my sophomore daughter. What busy, busy that was. She was/is beautiful and all gussied up was even more beautiful. She also had to run back and forth to school to play in the string ensemble for Alumni, final concert, Senior class something. Could go on but I'll quit. horney sexy men
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