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My wife cheated on me. I haven't said anything to her; I found out this morning. I snooped, as I did a couple years ago, just before we were married. She said she'd never do it again, without ever really admitting to "it" at all. On the day before our marriage, her old affair partner answered my question confirmed that she'd lied about meeting with him several times, on trips and outdoor ventures. We both promised that it was a new start. It felt so, so good. Not so ago I admitted it was me that I didn't feel like I could trust her. I could how that hurt her Like she wanted me to trust her, so she could trust herself. I still her I think. I'm afraid she'll never get over this thing of hers. I am not sure she really feels like she's doing anything wrong. Some brand of what she s feminism, that: where she seems to believe sex can be meaningless or only physical with one person, and intimate with the one you. I'm thinking about divorce. I moved here for her. I have no future here. I thought we were happy (I really did), and I think we might have been, but now I want to move away somewhere, maybe back to my home state, maybe to somewhere I've always wanted to go, Portland, or Hawaii. Even if it is running away. But I'm not sure I want to even admit I know what happened. Plus (here's the killer), it's not hard evidence. It's reams of and innuendos, and references to time together in a hotel room. That it could have been just drinks-between-friends is very possible, and I would be so in the wrong, hurting her. I am not good at hiding it when I'm this upset. But if I'm wrong, then what? Then just apologize and she forgives me (as she has for so things)? Thought about contacting the "other guy," but he seems too slick to 'fess to anything, and I really don't want to open that book. I have been lied to every time by my girlfriend, then my fiancee, then my wife, when she was asked. She has several times refused to consider couples therapy. I have no friends that aren't hers as well, in town. I guess that's why I'm dumping all of this here. At least talking/writing about it might stop me from doing something stupid and irreversible. Any thoughts out there? someone laid back required
Every (person for that matter) wants/needs their "needs" met in a successful relationship and/or marriage. As a married Woman I've found (do find) that my marriage is at its' best when I have (am) meeting my Husband's simple and basic needs. Like most (if not all men) his needs are simple; sex, food, understanding (not to be torn-down/nagged, etc.). I making my Husband happy, as he does me it goes either direction. In our marriage it is not one-sided, (at least not most of the time, ;) ) . Like every marriage it is not perfect % of the time, BUT I have found that when I am pleasant and don't succumb to being a bitchy when I am having a bad day and take it out on him things go wonderfully. AND we sex, that is SO vital in a good marriage, a couple has to keep that going, but then again, for us (me) it is not difficult b/c after almost 10 years I am still VERY attracted to my Husband. He's hot. And he says the same about me. And ladies, gotta' give him a you-know-what every now and then (or even more than 'every-now-and-then') they it. :) I've never understood some woman who say they don't like it. BUT I guess if you are deeply in and turned-on by your partner it is enjoyable to give. :) And ladies cook every few night's a week. It really is not hard, there are a TON of very easy DELICIOUS dishes to make for your family. AND just for the record for any potential hater's, I am not a born-again submissive Wife, etc. (not that I'd judge a woman like that either) . I just my Husband and making him happy. BUT like I said he does the same for me as well. You get what you give. ;) something twistedly similar to love a different worldCan host all day today and tomorrow. dating and
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