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The respondents to your post aren't trying to talk out of their ass, they are just relating their understanding to your situation. While there are states that divide assets , New York is not one of them. You are in an 'equitable' state and if you can prove that you always paid the mortgage, you have a claim on the asset that it is 'yours'. Because it was purchased prior to the marriage not exempt it from the normal 'division of assets' process. You indicated 'we' bought it, so I assume both names are on the title, but that still shouldn't be a problem in establishing equity, but require the decree demand a quit claim from your ex. any couples looking for arcade action wI like your posts. I why some people are upset, but I also your excruciating conscientiousness about leaving. I can relate. One thing that worries me though. If I'm reading you correctly, when you think about divorce you imagine leaving the house other assets to your husband. You don’t seem to realize that denying yourself the proper division of assets would be a gargantuan mistake. It’d hurt your more than you know and lead to unpleasant complications later. I URGE you to get informed about the divorce process. Wish I could take you to lunch and go over the division of assets you are entitled to by law. Wish you'd talk to several divorced people about how they handled the interim because you are needlessly stressing yourself by assuming you'd walk with little but your savings the clothes on your back. We're not living in the Middle Ages. You don't have to go to a shelter. You get half the equity in your house. You and your husband's retirement accounts be split down the middle. A sane interim process CAN be arranged. Most divorce lawyers give free phone consults. They can give you ballpark info about all of the above and about the typical custody/- support practices in your county. I truly understand that you're in the middle of a hellish process. But you are making it by harder by remaining fuzzy self-sacrificing about what is rightfully yours. Divorce is about far more than emotions. Learn the facts. Get educated about the whole package. Put the emotional aspects on hold and focus on the practical, financial aspects of divorce NOT from the viewpoint of a martyr, rather from the viewpoint of what the legal system deems FAIR and appropriate. I know you're undecided. Still, I urge you to get informed. The decision be easier when you replace fears with facts. Learning there is a sane way out does NOT mean you have to take it. It's only smart to know the fire exits and how to use a fire extinguisher, even if you never have to use them. You might think about Codependents (CoDa) or AlAnon for codependency issues. Also, there be a Divorce for Dummies book or Nolo Press book worth perusing. Can't tell you often people over/under estimate divorce practicalities. Be SMART! You owe it to your. casual affair
its hot in Franconia Sit down and add up the hours per week that you put into the family project = detailed, including transportation, your best guess at the average per week of doing dishes, about how much with the, how much time watching TV, how much time in the shower, shopping, and how much sleep you get. The do your best to draft the same guesses at her schooling and studying, laundry, TV, and how much sleep she gets. Compare the two, and show her what you've done. I'm guessing it might be lopsided, but then again it might not. If she disagrees, have her make the changes and make another comparison. Just keep doing it till you both agree the chart is as close as it can be It possible need some adjusting but no matter how ya cut it, you two be talking about your division of labor instead of just taking a position in a power struggle i need to pay my bills
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