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My DH was raised with old school values, as I bet yours was too, that to be a '-' means you are the provider. Not a bad thing, but trick in a down economy and it can really make a great guy feel low. I've made more than my DH for a while and we've had some similar struggles. I never really expected to be provided for, so this kind of caught me off guard. A few things that seemed to help 1. Realizing that the size of the paycheck is going to fluctuate. Just because he's earning little now doesn't mean it's not going to swing the other way in the future. I remember making a hands on the hips declaration once '-, you've never lied to me, or mislead me in any way. I knew what I was getting into when I married you and when I took those vows I was damn serious I meant that better or worse part. If you think I'm bothered by a fanatical hiccup, I'm really insulted.' 2. I also remember him never feeling 'worthy' of buying anything for himself. We ended up splitting up the bank accounts 75% of each of our checks go to the joint to pay all shared expenses, and 25% going into a personal account. We both feel better about splurging on ourselves with our personal money. 3. This is what probably helped him the most I'm a independent girl. Much like my DH, the thought of being 'taken care of' kind of freaks me out. But the fact that I do it a bit now really help ME feel less guilty in the future when the situation changes. When he's making more again, if I say-loss my job, want stay home with, or start my own business, I know he'll have my back the way I had his. It's a partnership. oh lets get down and dirty free fuck dateI've done a lot of volunteer work in food pantries. Typiy, they provide government issued surplus that most people have never seen and donations are usually things no one wants. A large number of users are foreign born, so items that they recognize (Like rice or dried beans) are popular. Dehydrated products are also easier to on the public transportation poor people use. What they don't get, and it makes a world of difference is any kind of spice. Think about it: The right spice in the hands of a cook from a poor family can turn cheap rice into a feast. But spices "ain't cheap", so they don't usually have available. What the poor need isn't more creamed corn or government surplus mystery meat They need spices. Since of the government recipe recommendations include cooking spray (really!), donations of that disappear quickly too mature ladies
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