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It's so peculiar how we on to the that our families become the warm, nurturing, and supportive people we need them to be. It sounds like your "parents" were weak in this area before you "came out," so chances are they not improve much with time. The treatment you have described is inexcusable in any situation. Time (and the lure of a granddaughter) might soften them a bit, but I have my doubts. I wonder what effect all this has on your daughter. These are toxic people and their poison has the potential to seep into all those around them (including your girl). I feel your (for family) in your posting, and the ache in your heart because this goes unmet. I have had more than a few friends who experienced rejection from their families of origin. They found great satisfaction and contentment as they built a "family" of their own choosing. Putting distance between you and them is a good thing and helpful in staying positive (very important if you live with chronic and/or terminal illness). As someone already mentioned, there is no book you can give them, there is no amount of and respect you can demonstrate to them, that change who they are or how they treat you. What you do need to do is TAKE CARE of YOURSELF. By staying physiy and emotionally, you are in kind, taking care of your daughter. I would also strongly encourage you to seek out a therapist that can help you work through some of the more traumatic aspects of your situation. Most community mental health agencies offer inexpensive (sliding scale) services at a very low rate. There are also group counseling situations that are affordable (or even free) based on your situation. (Contact any GLBT organization). I know people discredit therapy as a viable option, but having a someone who is empathetic, supportive, and genuine to talk with lift your spirits and help you get stronger. Blessings to you Divine .there are people out there who do care. looking for sex Fitzroy CrossingYet the reality is her lovers give her more intense sexual than I do. When I say this I mean it purely on sexual level. One thing this life style has taught her is how to compartmentalize her sexuality and sexual pleasure. She has the ability to separate sex from and understands that her lovers are for sex. Yet when they are together, the power of their sex is so real and raw. Our sex is loving and intimate and wonderful. Their sex is powerful and deliberate and epic. I know it sounds odd, but the course of their relationships has been much like a heavyweight boxing match. Two finely tuned athletes first feeling each other out and then eventually standing toe to toe, delivering blow after blow, challenging the other give rise up and find their best, finishing the match totally spent and exhausted. Being a part of it for me is a thrill. I her so dearly and seeing her realize the fullness of her sexuality in the context of our marriage and the pleasure that has brought to both of us is nearly beyond description. And being able to share intimacies, and kink with her on my own right is a in and of itself. Yet in the midst of all this, sex and kink, I'd be lying if I didn't recognize a certain amount of uneasiness, nervousness perhaps even anxiety. I'm thrilled she's so fulfilled but why can't I be the one who provides it? What if I were capable of giving her THOSE kind of orgasms? don't get me wrong, I'm far from saying that I'm ready to reign things back in a more monogamous fashion. And I have shared these concerns with her and she gets it. She is very sensitive to my needs. We spend a lot of time cuddling and talking, sometimes immediately after they've finished fucking. This has been great. The only thing we haven't talked about is ending the lifestyle and going back. I'm not saying I want that. If I did I'd feel comfortable saying it to her. Yet at the same time I just feel like, in ways, the dye has been cast. There is no turning back. I'm not sure now our relationship could withstand it. I guess this has been an extremely way of me asking a very simple question. For those involved in this lifestyle, have you experienced this feeling I've described? Of wanting all this for your spouse, yet at the same time being somewhat conflicted by it? extreme massage
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