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I appear to be nothing but the provider now and just work. Is that an accurate definition of what you are? Your life is about provision and work? Yes, they are important but hardly anything to get overly excited about. Gonna tell you about one of my regrets. don't fault myself too hard because I take responsibility seriously. I do give a rip about making sure I have stuff like good credit, a home, work hard, integrity. I need to or I don't feel good about myself, have a sense of pride about it too. but . After my divorce to my first wife and we had a similar problem though we never went to the separate bed phase it ended before that. I had the to evaluate and reflect. I have to admit, though I am a nice guy, a 'good' with a sense of adventure I wasn't really that fun. Oh once single shit I was a BLAST. Hell take away the responsibility of maintaining a marriage and the goal of providing a great retirement for two - was I a fun guy!! Drop it all on an impulse, fly off to some place because it was what I wanted. Dance like I don't care, tell people what I'm feeling, let them know I them I work hard but I also work hard on not losing that, never again. I practice it and fuse it into my life no it's not , I have shitty days but I don't let them last. It's the old saying if I would have known then what I know now? But who's to say I would have EVER known without having it all blow up? Life would have been more fun I can tell you that. There's no excuse for that and I had some hard shit come down but I still do, that never stop. Life don't work that way. So here you are trying to figure out how to change your wife and you've TALKED. Fuck it, you've talked and now why don't you start acting? Go out and seize the day. She comes along or doesn't but speak your mind. You want her to? Let her know, you want to have a good marriage? SAY IT and BE WHO YOU WOULD BE IN IT!!! Sure there might not be some fucking for a while, but you could be a loving, fun guy who scoops his wife up and says you, me, this weekend going to something she enjoys. Like you'd do if you were single. Remember that? Or bitch, moan and write a handle that says overanddone..yeah that shows a willingness to change horney Bunkie wife datingAs a more seasoned and single individual who owns stuff, has employment, attempts to exercise regularly, has friends and a couple of hobbies who would have to include 'seeking same' in any sort of ad or wish list well we ARE harder to find. And visa versa why? Not as willing to spend the time and energy to be out there on a consistent basis nor willing to be as attentive to someone -'s ego. I mean come on I've got shit to do and I give a rip about credit scores, retirement funds and I'm not huge on just talking about some day I'm bigger on actually pulling the trigger now that I have some means. Talk is cheaper, still fun to engage in from time to time. So, I read your opening which by the way is fairly common in any online dating site in one version or another 'no cheaters need apply' 'looking for a REAL -' 'seeking integrity/honestly/no liars' All I can think of is well fuck you, I don't need that kind of shit. I have no need to go through some gauntlet of disqualifiers to prove I'm not one of 'them'. So who do all that kind of shit? The exact kind of person you're trying to avoid. They'll work hard to convince you that their situation is out of their control, a victim of circumstance oh they're good at it too. Because they believe it. All you really have to do is to read your own post and think about the experience. You could plainly he was a leach and not someone interested in truly improving his own situation. When you approached him with it what did you expect? Why yes, I am a leach I come from a line of dedicated leaches and I am carrying on the family tradition, so glad you noticed. Take me to dinner the food here is not to my standards. You could have acted on all this information before you guys were in any sort of dating relationship and avoided the whole game. You gotta be willing to say 'fuck you' not going there. Right from the start and eliminate people who you'd find a connection in other areas. A person who'll put first things first would fix their situation THEN be open to a relationship not want it all. Or be willing to through, know you get played some and don't sweat it. Part of the game. Not their fault, your bad, next Just a dash of ice bitch where needed dating for single parents
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