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So some people here might already know about my situation from the previous post. But in case you don't know yet, let's me just scheme over a little bit. Husband and I are separating right now after over 2 years of marriage. We're in the process of getting a divorce, he wanted this. There's no legal separation has been legally file yet. All I got was his attorney's divorce notice (not the divorce action) one, so I ed the court and asked them about the case. They said there's nothing on file. So basiy, I'm still to this jerk who initiated this and still hasn't done anything to get the divorce finalized. I don't understand what the hell is wrong with him. We're not on good term right now, not communicating, not living together or whatsoever. He's basiy hanging me there wait wait and wait till when he feels like to get remarried to or sth. I also found his personal post on here couple of weeks ago with his pic in it stating he's looking to date and find new people to out with. At the same time, I'm expecting a with him, no financial support whatsoever. So I'm thinking myself just to let this jerk go. Eventually, there's this guy who him and I have been "FRIENDS" for almost a year keep contacting me and try to go out with me. He offered to bring me out for movie, cook dinner for me and stuff. I haven't accepted the offer just yet. Because I'm not sure if he just wants to be friends with me or there's maybe sth more. I'm not ready for a relationship just yet. I don't want to hurt him or make him thinking that I'm jerking him around or whatever. But at the same time, I want to have friendship with him as well. We haven't done anything together yet in term of sexual relationship. So I don't know what is good for me right now. I try to be nice to him but again, I'm not ready for a relationship right now, not right now. I don't want to, seriously. I have too much stuff in my plate that I have to take care of. It seems like he really likes me coz he keeps emailing me and try to find me from different sources like those thing they do with, blah blah blah. I just want a peace of mind in my heart right now, no more heartache for me work out or chat friend
Take care of yourself. Be even handed and respectful of yourself, her and place the interests of your in line with yourself. Give her ample notice of your intentions that you want an amiable and equitable split so that you can both deal. That is what serve you best, in the run. You feel like a heel if you over extend yourself to the 2 b ex. I say this regardless of your gender. I you're a guy, and I'm female. It matters not. Cooperation is the key. You have to live w/yourself down the line here. If you sell yourself short, you feel bad. If she doesn't step up to the plate, tough shit for her. You gave her notice, she have to deal. still love you anywherer. Punishment is rigged an an attempt to change behavior. Works with some, doesn't with others. Of course you don't let a wander into traffic. That's where a parent would intervene because the logical consequences of the action are too severe. Maybe the logical consequence of that action is the can no longer be outside without the parent, or the must hold Mommy's hand, etc., etc. A random whack on the ass for wandering into traffic is like smacking a dog for coming back to you after it ran away. WTF is the message? Maybe the logical consequences of throwing your dinner plate down are no dinner. Or you have to clean up the mess before you can do anythign. Or depending on the age, maybe that is too harsh. Maybe Mom or Dad feeds you the dinner until you can be trutsed to care for your own plate. Logical consequences are scaleable to the age. Logical consequences (and never do for a what he can do for himself) actually gets to function as members of society much faster than anything. I'm not saying that parents never scold. People get pissed and upset and their tempers flare. That's kind of a logical consequence too. But to carve out "I'm going to yell at you as punishment" or "I'm going to beat your ass as punishment for this" is arbitrary and not very logical. And not very portable. Hmmm,,Mom yells when I do wrong, Dad whips my ass I wonder what this person does. And this person. And this person. married and dating
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