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To "fuck me up" with his fists in the air He looked so crazy, but then a little while afterwards was so remorseful (and started crying) like he always does . And then when my work/supervisor contacted the military, because they couldn't get a hold of me after I ed a co-worker of mine for help (from the bathroom) on my phone because my husband had broken it He tells me that would never really hit me, he was in control of himself, and knew what he was doing . And the first thing he says to me after we leave the station is that the mp's told him he'd been seen as a wifebeater now (he did toss me around a little bit, threw something that "inadvertently" left a My first thought was that he should have gotten that title when he "inadvertently" choked his ex-wife, who obviously felt compelled to leave even with 3 .. We have no, but part of me wants there to be some logic as to why I'm still holding on, still married, still pitifully fighting for whatever the hell it is we have, or could have, still missing him (it's been a month and a half since I came home for some "time" with my family). So here I am on. Wondering what the hell is wrong with me, and waiting for someone to explain to me, or waiting for someone to tell me that I'm not the only one, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel . that isn't a train. Or something. Anything. I honestly don't know anymore wanting some taking care of
it's like having your very own radio station w/o the commercials! And you get to catch obscure songs from albums (ewwps, showing my age) that you didn't realize were even there. no adult beverages for me tonight :-( girls who want sex tonight in New Berlin New York NYUnfit for duty say his friends. A lot of guys, as McCain has, come back from wars really, truly messed up in the head, and it doesn’t go away. They aren’t going to talk to you about it. They figure it’s none of your goddamned business. If you push, they tell you so, angrily. If you weren’t in those forsaken paddies, they think, if you didn’t go through what they did, you’re off their radar screens. They’ll talk to you about football, the weather, and whatever happened in the newspaper yesterday. Just don’t even try to talk about Viet. Or whatever it was. They don’t want to think about it, and talking about it to weenies feels like being naked in a train station. There are a lot of these burnt guys out there. They don’t want your pity. They don’t pity themselves. They just don’t want to expose that part of themselves to you. They put a wall around themselves. You can’t it. It’s there. Often they seem like fairly normal guys with divorces who drink too much and their say, “It was like he was somewhere.” Perfectly normal guys who have had seventeen jobs because their bosses are always useless bastards. Perfectly normal guys who live out in the desert and do serious scuba or glide because they just don’t give a fuck. Not all. Some manage to hold it together and become things thought to be respectable, such as senators or writers or defense attorneys. A subsurface lode of hostility can be useful in a trial lawyer. Anger is energizing. It can fuel a career. With PTSD, or whatever you want to it, the anger is the giveaway. These vets a load of subterranean fury that you don’t want to look at. As they would say, I shit you not one pound. I know a lot of these guys. A of mine—two tours in bad places, killed a whole lot of people up close now has no tolerance for frustration. He's ready to spread your teeth over a wide radius if you even seem to think about getting in his face. Admirable? No. But don’t make the experiment. Sounds like McCain. His explosiveness is documented and notorious. Torture until your mind is controlled by the Commies is sad, but NOT a qualification for president. More his dangerous mental illness is a definite DISQUALIFICATION. always looking for sex
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