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Have some pride. Nothing's normal about either side of this. Where'd you get the idea that is slavery? I don't think you know what is. It's not remotely normal for a term boyfriend to text friends about wanting to date another woman. Or text about what women are attracted to him. A decent in a committed relationship would be ashamed to engage in such disrespectful behavior. It's not remotely normal for a woman to get up an hour early to pack a boyfriend's lunch or to routinely clean his house from top-to-bottom. Those are things one might do on occasion, but martyring yourself regularly is masochism. It's not remotely normal to have NEVER received a present from a boyfriend. Most woman would that for indifference it is and RUN. You're well out of that mess. It's time to focus on yourself and get over the self-sacrificing I -prove-my -to-an-indifferent deal. Time to learn to value yourself and to learn what is. is warm, satisfying, fulfilling, AND reciprocal. It makes you feel profoundly cherished. It's not just pleasing the other it's knowing your partner very much wants to please you as well. It's not slaving away to earn attention from someone who's out with the boys and barely giving you a second thought. Read books. Go to therapy. Practice being assertive. Practice receiving not just giving. You have a lot to learn. I congratulate you for putting yourself on the road to a better understanding and a genuinely loving relationship. You did good by leaving keep it up. sex friends barcelonahot-button issues by specifying the specifics. A therapist suggested I do that to defuse an issue that was a source of chronic conflict in my family. It worked extremely well: peace broke out within a week. So I know EXACTLY why you don't want to leave any aspect of the issue open to interpretation. Our conflict was similar: Party A (me!) felt Parties B, C, and D weren't trying hard enough to meet/prepare for a specific annual obligation. Party A found herself voicing resentment six months before and six months after said annual obligation. The resentment grew stronger each year, which led to heated rehashes of who did what when last year, and the year before, and the year before. I'm ashamed it went on so. The therapist forced me to be specific: What precisely did I want? By what date would task X need to be completed for me to recognize sufficient progress? By what dates would tasks Y and Z need to be completed for me to recognize sufficient progress? She had me write a contract. The other parties were free to ask for modifications in advance; but once signed, it was gonna be "official procedure" and I was to shut-up, back-off, and mind my own business, as as the conditions/deadlines in the contract were met. Miraculous! Plenty of tasks continued to be completed at the last minute, but I kept my part of the deal by shutting up; and others kept theirs by meeting the deadlines we'd agreed on. Obviously, it would be ridiculous to use this technique in ALL matters. But IMO it is a great way to clarify and defuse a CHRONIC issue. So, I totally understand where you're coming from. *** That said, I still want to encourage you to negotiate something that WORKS. I could be wrong, but I read a few of your posts as hoping overkill fail, your husband be sorry he ever suggested this, and you'll be off the hook forever. A lot of posters to the whole idea, but I don't think they understand. You and I both know your MIL ain't going away. Your husband's not going to disown her or stop wanting you to accept what he and she (consciously or subconsciously) view as her rightful role as matriarch. SO, while I understand your to heed the "letter of the law," I caution you against using it to sabotage a request that seems outlandish to Americans, but ANY Indian would well understand. bbw dating
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