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new to Concordia area looking to make friends Hi again all, So much has happened since my last post and all for the good. But now I am here on advice for making a smooth transition to the next step. We are spending much more time together both alone and as a family (his mine) and although he and I are ready to make the "move in together move" it is probably just not best yet for the involved. Ok for my daughter who is going into the 8th grade. We have listened to her concerns and wants and we have agreed to wait until next (YIKES almost a whole year) to actually officially make the move. The time probably go quickly anyway as I we both have places (him house, me condo) to prepare. My questions: Ideas on getting everybody (him, me, -) use to the idea of "us as a whole" vs. the ME syndrome that we all seem to share. We all agree this is what we want, but we have also been independant for 7 years now. By the time we actually offiy make the move, I would it if everyone referred to "things" (the house, cars, furniture) as ours instead of mine, his, and hers. Also, if all others feelings were involved in decision making and plans. He and I are already very much working on this one. We sat down with each other's finance over the weekend and make term plans. He and I also discussed what needed to be done to each house and how we were going to get those things done. However, it bothers me very much (even though this is new) when SO refers to "my house" or "my car" or "my -" vs. "our house/car/-" When I bring this up, he graciously admits to understanding and trys harder, but what a ideas on how to ease him and especially our into the "Our/Us" stage instead of the "Me/Mine" stage. Those who know me, this is not a stressor, I am not worried, I have plenty of time to work through all of this. I am just looking for ideas on how to make the transition easier for all involved. I am confident that in the run, things work out beautifully. Just looking for suggestions or ideas to make the transition smoother!! Thanks! security woman at work
What is so great about being married? Better Financial Picture The old saying "Two can live as cheaply as one" isn't exactly true. Two do appear to be able to live as cheaply as one and a half persons, though. That means sharing furniture, food, insurance benefits, a car, etc . And, when one person becomes ill, loses his or her job, or needs emotional support due to stressors, the spouse is there to help. This is cheaper too, as in home nurses, credit card debt, and therapists cost more. Married men are more successful in work as well, getting promoted more often and receiving higher performance appraisals. They also work or arrive late less often (Kostiuk and Follman, , and Shaw, ). As for women, white married women (without -) earn 4% more and black married women earn 10% more than their single peers (Waite, ). While some point out that house work for married women (37 hours per week) is greater than that of single women (25 hours), half of that is due to having (South and Spitze, ). Longer Life Married people live longer as well. Single men have mortality rates that are % higher than married men. Single women have mortality rates that are 50% higher than married women (- et all, ). Having a spouse can decrease your risk for dying from cancer as much as knocking ten years off your life. Single people spend longer in the hospital, and have a greater risk of dying after surgery (Goodwin et al, ). Married women are 30% more likely to rate their health as excellent or very good compared to single women, and 40% less likely to rate their health as only fair or poor compared to single women. Based on life expectancies, nine of ten married men and women alive at age 48 are alive at 65, while only six of ten single men and eight of ten single women make it to 65. Married men have better immune systems as well, either from support or from nagging to monitor blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, etc and be at less risk to catch colds (Cohen et al, ) Better Mental Health Married men are half as likely to commit suicide as single men, and one third as likely as divorced men. Widowed men under 45 are nine times more likely to commit suicide as married men (Smith, and Conn, ). lookn for a date
i was at a book store today, just putzing around, and i happened to notice the "- and lesbian literature" section. it was located on a shelf-island, of sorts, all alone in the middle of an open area. upon closer inspection i noticed that this poor, ostracized, collection of literature consisted of one shelf labeled, "- male literature," and below that two shelves labeled, "erotica." being a thinker and not always an actor, i left quite upset and wondering if i should have voiced my concerns to someone at the store. first, i don't think and lesbian literature necessarily warrants its own section. especially if it's fiction? maybe and lesbian studies second, considering that a large part of the population might not be apt or able to discriminate between truth and fiction, stereotypes and reality, etc., GAH! why would a bookstore fuel that idiocy? if i had, i would steer them away from erotica in the bookstore- what message does that send about people that the two things are grouped together. i'm upset that even as an optimist, i find it hard to believe that the placement of this shelf was an oversight. and where the hell are the lesbian books? virtual insanity supportShe isn't a loser because she is schizophrenic. There are a multitude of things that she did, and continues to do, that make her a loser. (Sleeping with married men when she was a teenager, stealing from everyone in the family to fuel her habit, being in and out of jail for petty theft and beating some chick up in a bar ) I could go on and on. She stole her great grandmothers wedding ring when she was and hawked it .this was way before she was diagnosed, and I am sure was part of her problem. She has always been a wild and now she is just completely out of control. That's all. Sorry if I offended anyone, I really appreciate everyone's input on this. sex black woman
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