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looking for some close friends in Defiance Iowa area " Better not say that or she might get depressed." Actually I think a more accurate description was "better not say that or she might get angry". But he was like that with everyone, NOT just me. Always calm, always held back, always repressed. I married him because I needed stability and I saw what he did as stable. I was too to recognize that withholding one's emotions (even from oneself) is not a sign of a person. You know like those who go postal all at once? "You really want to focus on your spouse behavior and not on your own." No, I've BEEN focusing on my own ever since then. But omitting the look at him and who he was/is has hindered my healing from the divorce, to some extent, because I still him in the perfect image he presented instead of what was hidden underneath. in my mind, I know he wasn't. But in my heart, he still holds that image because of how I was treated by him. He was deeply codependent, care-taking and enabling and my heart still wants to believe he loved me, even though evidence is that those behaviors were to control the relationship. " You just keep trying to justify you breaking your vows" AGAIN NO! IT WAS WRONG!!! I would never advise anyone to do that. It was a stupid mistake on my part. And I don't it as a mistake ONLY because of the effect, but because it was UNLOVING and that is ALWAYS a wrong choice. Okay? Apparently I have to keep repeating that to each poster. "How is it you can be together that and not mature?" Because my independence vanished slowly but surely under the pressure of illness, depression and a husband who's idea of marriage was to serve in all ways possible. Have you heard the expression "- with niceness"? It's rare, but it happens. Someone takes care of every little problem in your life until you can no longer handle any problem yourself. Most of it happened while I was ill (gastric problems, panic attacks, vertigo). People mature when they have to face difficulties. He kept me from facing the difficulties even by lying to me. I knew he lied just not to me. And you seem to put forth the idea that one spouse having an affair means it's okay for the other one to have an affair without leaving the marriage. Is that really what you meant? horny girl New Haven
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You know you listed a full plate of exhausting things and describe a life that's not exactly an environment for getting a groove on and you wonder where it all went. Health is a big deal, I've always had a good sized drive but I've got a back thing that is driving me nuts I'm at about 30% of my physical norm. Actual pain has a bit of a dampening effect you might say. So I'd look at a few things, not this magic bullet pill you're searching for. 1. Your husband is starting to wonder? Oh girl, don't do that, don't let him wonder. He's the ONE person in this world to talk to about this, the first person you should be able to go to. You him right? He's a good by your own words what a bonus. I'm going to let you in on a secret, guys like sex but they really do feel and it counts a LOT. Honest communication and a request for support while you put forth an honest effort um, yeah, I'll bet he'll want to step up for you note the key "honest effort". This is not some diet you promise to go on and then do nothing because it's too hard you have to commit too. 2. Your health come on, take care of YOU. This relate right back to item 1, you need support in caring for the and house to do so, work WITH him. You need help, that's what this partnership is all about. Same thing also applies honest effort, no halfway bullshit. 3. Special needs big load life has given you. Figure out how to get a break, some down time, meditation or gardening, time for you every day. 4. Growing very old with him how about a new goal, sharing LIFE with him. That means this is shared with him as well as the joyous moments, let him know what you're feeling and sit down and allow yourselves to dream. What can we do for us something you can connect in. Then DO IT no waiting, now, you guys are the priority and the rest flow from it. 5. Set about doing it today is a great day to start. I bet if you do some or all of that and you'll start feeling better physiy and about who you are that's some MOJO. Sexy is an extension of babe.. discrete dating in Pangollamada a pseudo girlfriend
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