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Let me say up front, that I KNOW that gifts are not a requirement and that I should be thankful no matter the gift, because someone thought of me. But, that's sorta the problem. I feel the gift I received indicates EXACTLY what this person thinks of me. I have your opinions? Auntie is 87. and never married never had. Her only relatives are my DH and his siblings (5 nieces/nephews) and their families. Auntie lives 3 from my front door. My DH is basiy chained to his desk and doesn't have the same LIBERAL work hours I do. So, over the years (and because NOBODY steps up to the plate) I have slowly taken on everything Auntie needs. I take her to doctor appointments, balance her checkbook, review her bills, feed her, drive her to every family function, entertain her, help her with errands and took her in when she was ill. Auntie got a $7, tax refund this year and decided to gift it out to her family. I received a card and check (as did everyone -) and was appreciative. THEN she pulls me aside, asks me to take her to the doctor next week, and also explains that neices and nephews got $1, each; grand nieces and nephews got $ each; and me (along with 2 brothers-in-law) got $50. her 'grand' nieces and nephews are FAR from grand. Never having ed her once. Never having helped her once. Never once going out of their way to even converse with this. I pick this woman up every damn week, feed her, bring her home with leftovers for the week literally, cleaned her shit when she was ill and I get $50? I do it because she is alone. I be her in 40 years. I have no and be reliant upon neices to look after me. I treat her the way I to be treated. Honestly, and as God as my witness, I don't care about the dollar amount. Its what it represents. To me it says: You aren't family. You don't hold the same value as blood relatives. You are good enough to do all the grunt work, but that's it. My feelings are very hurt. My choices are: let it go and continue to take care of her, because its within my heart to do it. Or decide to do a lot less for this woman, knowing nobody steps up to the plate. My husband says I've totally over-reacted. Would you feel the same way? fuck girls May Idaho
I agree that sometimes things get snippy in here. And sometimes things are said that I don't at all agree with. But I am far too invested in balance and perspective to take conversations existing solely in Internet space too seriously. That said, when I go to other forums, I a TON more trolls, sleazy posts, and writings from what seem like bored 15 year old boys than I ever do in W4W. I think we regulate ourselves well in here, and all in all I find the level of discourse and what seems like real concern and care to be high. And yes, I've seen that extended to brand-new posters as well. As far as mad_world, I thought we were going to have a dialog, but it appears that she posted and ran. (I was going to it "spew and scamper," but that would me mean-spirited and juvenile of me!) local fucks in 70377There are a number of issues here, so right off the bat you need to sort them out one at a time and don't let them cloud over each other, creating a miasma of gunk that nobody could figure out. Each issue has to be carefully and lovingly and firmly dealt with. The brother in law is being very insensitive, but he can't be expected to have the same or tolerance of your father as you do; still, if you are forced to choose between the in-laws and your dad, you must face this squarely and make your choice, and not look back. Your father's hygeine is a troubling problem on levels. I think you need to do whatever you can to steer him into the tub. He be old and cranky, but you can't pretend he's as fresh as a flower when he isn't. The bigger issue is his health; infections and sores can develop from not washing, and at his age that could be a real problem. It would be better to risk hurting his feelings than to him hospitalized for skin ulcers that sap his health and are totally preventable. Hurting Dad's feelings seems to be a big theme in all the relationships. I think his feelings should be respected, but that doesn't give him the right to manipulate other people. There really is a balance between honesty and. Sometimes, it's gracious and respectful to be honest! "Dad, I'm going to be honest with you because I respect you." sometimes creates boundaries. Not that he won't be loved if he doesn't comply with your requests (although he fear this), but you him so much, you make some boundaries within which the family can get along better, Dad can be healthier, and holidays can be merrier. Getting him a hearing aid is a boundary that makes good sense, as does requiring him to bathe, wear clean clothes, and do other things that demonstrate his for you. It's not just a one-way street you know. Maybe it was in the past, but now your must be mutually respectful and honest. Doesn't he deserve that? don't you? find local singles
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