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professional help with this. Not the break-up, but the addiction. It clearly interferes with your life. You don't want to be alone with porn forever, do you? I don't think self-help books are going to cut it, at least not until you have a clear path to take to getting healthier. As as the big part of you want to "give into it" you're not even close. Your other subject how do you know you're not right for the person you're with you're together years and you don't feel close enough to share the thing that is ruining your life. That's not intimacy. You can tell her the truth, that you're not ready for an LTR. don't be cruel and string this girl along because you don't want to hurt her. You know that's bullshit and leads nowhere so just up and break up. Instead of picturing her crying and hurt because you broke up, imagine her crying because you acted on your lust and cheated. And she then finds out that for years you've been obsessing on other women. She finds your porn stash. There's your real hurt, the kind that lasts a time. You need to fix some things before you can even consider a relationship. Please find a way to a professional and get this off your chest and start to fix it. lonely wives Schiermonnikoog
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