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ca65 adorable girl hoping to find a great guyA happy marriage and A lot of people are too messed up to make that happen. But you are not. Despite that tragic event, you created a fulfilling life and have much to be have much to be proud of. I don't doubt the emotions the event are confusing. They are what they are; and you have to make peace with loving the, wishing he'd gotten help, and loathing his desperate acts the pain they caused. I know it's not easy. But you mention shame: nah, jettison shame. No rational person feels anything but compassion for the fourteen-year-old whose life exploded. She was a victim. One's heart hurts for her. The gut response of any rational adult is to want to protect her, to very much want her to be okay. And you are! Had you wanted, you could've acted out the pain confusion, turned to -/alcohol, become an embittered problem person. Instead, you kept your tender heart, married a supportive, had great are doing quite well. Of course, there are cruel irrational people. But there are also a whole lot of rational people who have been rooting for you along. You have every reason to replace shame with pride in your resilience fundamental sanity. While it’s right and natural to grieve the loss of your father, you are not him. You’re not responsible for the good things he did or the bad. Look at Kaczynski: he is greatly admired for the way he handled his familial tragedy. No shame whatsoever attaches to him for loving his brother (the unabomber) or being related to him. As for reaching out: familial tragedy is always a difficult subject. It makes people uncomfortable because they don't know what to say fear saying the wrong thing. So, you need an inner circle one or two friends or relatives you can turn to when you need to discuss this subject. I, personally, wouldn't discuss it with all my friends, only a select few. I’d also shield myself from news stories that remind me of the past. You’ve been through enough. No need to poke at the wound. You owe it to yourself, your husband to protect your sanity let the past recede. Because the truth is there really is SO much more to life, so much in the present. Nothing's more fun than Christmas with toddlers. Your life, your, your marriage, your are in the present: stay with them. slow dating
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I was a house guest of a couple of married friends who had decided to change their lives and move to, for two years to attend the Cordon Bleu cooking academy together. They had been there about 10 months, and it was their turn to host a monthly dinner party for about 25 people. Among the guests invited was one absolutely gorgeous petite Indian woman. She has this incredible almost skin tone, jet black thick hair almost to her bottom, a perfectly beautiful smile and that unique accent of someone who had been brought up in an upper-crust English home, and educated at Oxford. Everyone was attracted to her, and I found out much later, with her economics degree, she was a PhD., who appeared on local French TV political talk shows, and wrote newspaper editorials with her opinions of council to the French President on national and international economic affairs. To this Texas born, California raised San Franciscan, she also was speaking in English, ( one of 6 languages ) while my attempt at French was poor, comiy lacking Somehow I got to sit close to her, and I became 'the American' for the evening, and was asked questions about our President Bush / US ideals, cultural icons , etc., I got to talk with her almost 6 hours and was absolutely completely mesmerized by her beauty, charm and the purist, deepest intellect I had ever encountered. Whatever people say about ' . at first sight, I was living it.' I can't prove it anyone today, but to me, I think I was flying ' I always knew that someday, I would be in this place, but yesterday I did not know it would be today ! The Lennon attributed quote was true, ' Life is what happens when you're making other plans.' I would like to tell you about the first time I kissed her at the airport, some 15 months later, but that moment would have to be on the erotic experience links, on another day. pussy now swedesboro nj
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