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Nor did I suggest that should accompany you on all your dates or spend tons of time with moms new bf. I just said that meeting your kid can be done, even early on, without harming your. So in the interest of explaining my thoughts better, here are a couple real life examples to illustrate my thinking on the matter. I don't get what "short cuts" Seed thinks I'm taking here as I have spent at least 3 weeks talking to people on the phone before EVER meeting them and in most cases I have been able to arrange for babysitters for at least the first 3 dates. 4 MONTHS of babysitters I cannot afford or arrange, I'm a single parent on a tight budget, by goldfishs' logic I just should accept that being poor means I'm not allowed to date??? The first example is of a 2nd date with another single parent whom I had already had 1 personal date and much conversation with. He was not a psycho, which was apparent on first meeting. He worked 6 days a week and only had one day off to spend with his and/or go out on a date. We met at the park, walked around a lake and played on a playground with both our, there was NO hand holding or kissing of any sort. Afterward we barbequed ribs at his house and watched a movie, no cuddling or anything like that. As far as the were concerned it was nothing more than hanging out with a friend and we are still friends, though I felt no sparks and stopped dating him romantiy. I also dated another single parent, we had a lot of dates before I met his kid or our met each other. After I met his kid and started seeing how he spoiled her, there was zero discipline there and she much ran the show, I was not interested in dating him anymore. His parenting style was a big deal breaker for me and I didn't LIKE his daughter either. I would not want to be her step-parent and her family, ugh. I'm glad I only "wasted" 3 months dating him but I did learn a lot. Also, I've been dumped by a guy who did not like my (non-military discipline style) parenting too. I'm sure he is glad that he got to how I was with my before he wasted 6 months too. My and me are a package deal, In my opinion, keeping them out of the dating equation for too amounts to not really full disclosure for both parties. hot sexy girl HelsinkiYou spoke up even though your tender heart was on the line. You stood up for sanity. You got a couple firsts out of the way You got hurt too. And though it sucks, sucks, sucks you got that first out of the way too. We've all been through it. Sucks, sucks, sucks But know what? It's a rite of passage, a stepping stone to a real relationship. No one picks the right guy fresh out of the gate. No one escapes the learning curve. Naturally, you feel like hell right now. Naturally, you have questions. You'll prob never answer them to your satisfaction. But in the end, it's strengthening maturing to realize we never *really* know what's going on with someone we've only known six months. That no matter what he said or did, it wasn't a waste for YOU; the good times were good for YOU; it was an experience YOU wanted; and YOU acted with integrity. I'm sorry you're hurt. YET, this wasn't good enough for you. He lacks self-honesty integrity. Going forward, I you decide those are the crucial qualities to look for in a partner. If you need a mourning period, take one. But don't make it too. It's a good time to turn to real friends and to focus on yourself your goals. don't have break-up sex with an insensitive, self-centered user: you'll only get hurt. don't stay friends with him either. He's not conscientious; he's demonstrated a willingness to exploit you, and you don't need that kind of friend. years from now you can be friends with him, but not now. Not while you're hurt vulnerable. Not until you're so thoroughly over him you don't care what he does or doesn't do with that woman. You'll be fine. You've taken a step down the path to a genuine relationship with a partner who values you. A step toward something better and knowing what qualities matter over the haul. Much depends on YOU valuing YOU. So after a few chick flicks with Haagendas, get moving. Throw yourself into enriching activities: an exercise routine, the class you always wanted to take, the mountain you want to climb this. Take your eyes off him and focus on YOU. You'll think of him and that's okay peace come. I promise. But use this energy to better YOUR life. You won't be sorry you did. sweet teen
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