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I wanted to thank some of you who offered constructive advice last Friday about the situation with my father in law and his restaurant, my continued funding of said restaurant and the tension in my marriage because of it. I shared the thread with my wife and we discussed it at length over the weekend and this is the end result. -Her father is 72 years old. It's time for him to retire. He still has significant retirement funds in Korea and a retirement package from Korean Air. He would be able to pick up life there with little difficulty. -It would be financially more effective for us to settle the on the restaurant, forgive the money we loaned him and buy her parents a new apartment in Seoul then it would to continue to pump money into a venture that is very unsure in an economy that is weak and not likely to improve significantly in the near future. -We can wind down the restaurant after he has already settled in Korea, allowing him to save face, after all, retirement is acceptable even if failure isn't. There is some value in the appliances purchased for it etc and we would likely recoup some small amount of our total investment. -Her parents moved here after her brother died in a car accident to be closer to my wife. Her mom is ready to move back home and told us her father has expressed a to return to Korea as well. We make plans to visit them in Seoul every for the foreseeable future. -My wife and her mother broached this subject with her father last night and he was receptive. It's not a perfect solution and it still leaves us on the hook for a significant amount of money. But it does allow her father to walk away with his "honor" intact and it gives us light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, that we be able to move forward as a family and much happier then we are now. Anyway, thank you all for the help. Some of it was very insightful, and a dispassionate look is always productive. seeking wm recantedImagination is a kind of intelligence. Not everyone is gifted with a good imagination. I've met folks who were incredibly smart in ways, but had darned near nothing for an imagination. I can lending such people a bit of help, the same way I'd help someone on crutches get through a door or load packages into their car. As for the manipulation, well, everyone learns what works to get them from where they are to where they want to be. I have no trouble with forcing someone who is trying manipulation to instead be honest. mature xxx
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