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and the refuge of those without considered or explicit examples of failing. I think the more interesting issue here is why you feel you need to conduct a survey to validate what constitutes the label. As with almost everything, this is a matter of opinion and different people have different criteria to qualify. One -'s hero is another -'s reprobate. What some consider rebellion is seen by others as courage of conviction. There is no objective set of standards which can be applied to doom anyone to being a "loser." It is more meaningful for you to decide for yourself what the term means. And then to question yourself about why you feel that way. We can always discover meaningful and interesting things when we examine our own assumptions. If you wish you determine what it is that makes someone in particular apply the designation, ask questions about their assertion. Consider whether their perspective seems valid or is simply a reaction to disappointment. Trying to put yourself in their position can help you understand what values they are applying to the situation that nudge them to their beliefs. Since each of us put different weight on various ideals, knowing which is most important to them (eg; freedom/security, work/free time, spiritual enlightenment/material gain) can be very helpful in ascertaining how they view what makes a person a success or failure. In my experience, most people are doing the best they can. Compassion can go a way towards helping free us of the tyranny of self-righteousness. Philo "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. looking for different thingsGuess I thought it was me in the wrong and wanted things to work. I realize there were signs beforehand but ignored 'em since I thought maybe I was not seeing the "real" her. Well, that wasn't the case she has this complex about being better than everyone and holds u down with it since I don't make the money "she makes" anymore. That's why I'm treated like the help. One thing I didn't say was that I was "that person" to help and support her time in need going through a huge custody battle with her ex over the. Being there emotionally for her, endless court dates and document submittals, going out of state to spy on the guy and try to catch him violating court order (months I did this) and all this is forgotten. As she puts it "that's over why do you hold that over my head" Hmm.. I was there, you expect me to listen to your problems and be supportive, but nothing in return? Oh I forgot living with these guys is my return. And I shouldn't forget that sigh creative dating
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