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You never have enough money to have a kid. You adjust your lifestyle, and become a father. you are a family with. you have responsibilities. If you have a kid now, or in 10 years, guess what. the loss of a job be devastating if you have a kid. timing doesn't matter. Having actually pushed me in my career. I wanted to provide for them, be able to send them to private school, and have the things they needed. If it were just me I would be fine living in a slum somewhere and not have a $ , mortgage in the midwest. I would not have cared if I crossed 6 figures in income. When we had our first kid the wife and I both worked. We did the math, and determined that we were actually spending 5k a year for her to work. Not making anything. When you consider wardrobe, lunches, dinners out because you both work late and are too tired to cook, daycare, higher tax rates with the higher income, and in a lot of cases a lack of earned income credit from the higher income .. it ads up. Reason 1 is MUCH more of a true to not have. If you want to enjoy the kidless married life, that is a very viable argument. The end result is, don't sweat the money, and if you guys can't talk about this and figure it out, then don't EVER have. Your styles of thought are too different, as are your desires and expectations of a family. nudes of girls from Almenagive me more than complaints of soda and ovaltine to convince me that those two things are breaking the bank. More so I'd say it's having 2 depending on two adults who only have one income. Things I think you could do: *go over the and ask him to hand over the finances to you *go over the and ask to formulate a plan that gives a light at the end of the tunnel for which all debts be paid and a nest egg starts, ask for half of the controls of the finances *re-affirm a vow to each other for financial solidarity in equal financial partnership *figure out a way to bring in some of your own income no matter how small (can you babysit other? work part time? do you have any special skills you could share with others like music lessons, tuturing, housekeeping, pet sitting?) I'm sure a decent amount of the problem is him fucking up but it's also you stepping up and stepping in. You can't sit back and passively let shit happen and it needs to be clear to him that neither can he. It also take tries to get through to him. So be prepared to have conversations with him and not lose your temper. You also have to creatively think about the solutions you need in place; like functioning on cash only, shopping differently, rethinking the reward systems you have at your house, hiding or cutting up the credit cards, only Christmas presents, shopping second hand only for a while. There should be no more "asking" to be involved in the finances, I would be flat out TELLING that I'm involved and I expect to go over the every single month. You are a SAHM, you ought to be able to get the mail easy enough and then funnel it all to your address. Part of this IS him fucking up but part of it YOU needing to take the reins. best free online dating
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