I need some advice w4m Techniy this belongs somewhere else, like R&R, but the volume of ugliness in that section is too high for my taste. So here goes.. I've been to different family counselors trying to get some help. I followed their instructions to the letter, but my husband would not cooperate. Most of the exercises suggested by the therapists just turned into fights that lasted for days. So obviously, I'm posting here in a desperate need to vent, but also hoping maybe someone has a magical answer (yeah, right). My husband is a good father and earns a very good living, so I firmly believe this relationship is worth saving. However, he is a total pig. If I could afford to hire someone to follow him around and clean up, I would. The way he lives is just completely ridiculous. There is no area of our house that is not piled with garbage, dirty dishes, laundry, random junk. Every time he does something, he leaves piles of shit laying everywhere. Nobody can use the kitchen without cleaning it. We can't eat at the dining table. I can take out the garbage only to find the bag full 4-5 hours later. He orders stuff from the internet, unwraps it and leaves the packaging laying around everywhere, sometimes for weeks. Having become increasingly burnt out by trying to work, be a parent and keep up with the volume of housework, I just don't do it anymore.
But wait, there's more! In the course of our marriage, he has gained what is probably 100lbs. He won't bathe unless I ask him to bathe. He won't comb his hair, and I haven't seen a toothbrush of the kind he uses in our bathroom in over 6 months. He smells terrible and complains constantly of all sorts of aches and pains. He also complains constantly that we don't have sex often enough. I, too, would like to have sex more often, but with the healthy, clean-smelling man I married, not whoever this is. He promised to start a diet with me in January. And to start exercising. I have already lost 4lbs. He had asked m Array looking for a hand job saturdayNew friend 54 (Talladega ) 54 Hoping to meet a new friend to start a lasting friendship. 45+, HWP , single, black man. I'm looking for tall, dark and single with a kind personality.
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so you've got 25-26 weeks before the wedding? 55 lbs / 25 weeks = lbs a week. i think the standard calculation is one pound = calories you have to cut out and/or burn up a total of calories a day to lose 1 lb/wk. so losing lbs a week is a little, but still doable if you are *really* disciplined about diet and exercise. optimally, get a dietician and a personal trainer. you must keep a food log and record every thing you eat and drink, including water. this is important! if you don't know how calories you're taking it, you can't figure out a realistic plan. make sure you're drinking about 64 oz of water per day; your body needs water to lose weight. get adequate sleep. recent studies have shown a correlation between high stress levels, lack of sleep, and weight gain. get a scale and weigh your food. you'll be surprised how small 1 ounce of cheese is. measure your portions figure out how much you are really eating, and how calories you're taking in. cut out caffeine, sodas, junk food. exercise, excercise, exercise don't kill yourself, but there's no real weight loss without maintaining some type of serious exercise program. the holidays are just 4-8 weeks away. allow yourself to have a cookie, piece of cake, etc. just a small piece, though. be prepared for plateaus when the scale won't budge; during these weeks, your body's adjusting to a lower weight. usually after these plateus you suddenly drop a few lbs. most importantly don't beat yourself up if you don't hit your magic number of 55 lbs or size 7. any weight you lose and keep off is a damn fabulous accomplishment. especially as you're trying to lose a significant amount of weight, in a somewhat timeframe, during a stressful timeperiod (wedding planning), and over the eating holidays!! Brady Texas horney housewifeMy boyfriend of 2+ years is a really amazing guy. He's caring, smart, compassionate, polite, funny, and he treats me very, very well. He loves me. I him. I can't imagine a future without him. But he's a loser. For all intents and purposes, by every measure of maturity or success, he is falling behind me. No driver's license, no job (he's laid off for the -), no savings, no ambitions his name isn't even on our lease. I have been asking him to get a driver's license for at least a year, and for some reason, it is impossible for him to fill out a simple form and go to the DMV. I don't want him to be a corporate lawyer or a senator and support me for the rest of my days I just want him to be an adult. Am I putting too much weight on the superficial things that constitute "success"? Shouldn't my feelings for him be good enough? Or am I totally justified in wanting to date a grown up? If so, do I break up with him just because he doesn't have a driver's license? Or do I try to gently nudge him towards some sort of responsible adulthood? And if so how? granny women
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