Have you ever? Have you ever felt that you were at a place in your life where you wanted two things at the same time? .where you wanted, one, to be in a loving and committed and romantic relationship, that relationship that makes you want to skip and sing right down the street, that relationship where you say..Yes! .I've finally found that person who understands me and values me and I him and I can really settle down with this person for the long term future and I'm so excited and so relieved that I finally found this wonderful person to share my life with and two, as you're searching for this person that you want to find, that you have a right to find because you're worthy of that person, that you ALSO desire ..AT THE SAME TIME that you are searching for this person .a sexual desire that goes something like this .
"I'm at such and such and age now, and I'm searching for a great love of my life, and its taking time, maybe sadly even a lifetime to find that person, and WHILE I'm searching for that person, the days on my search are turning into weeks and the weeks into months and the months into years .and you know time is just moving on by and I'm realizing .how MUCH! I want to be sexual in a truly exuberant and passionate and joyous way?"
You see, I think we CAN have those two feelings at the same time and frankly I have a problem with anyone who would say that there was some great moral problem with feeling this way, which is why I get impatient and irritated with anyone who would turn up their nose to anyone whose heart was in the right place in desiring both of these things at the same time. I think ones heart CAN be in the right place in desiring both of these things at the same time and that, if one is a good person, and if ones heart was in the right place, they shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed or immoral or 'seedy' in having both of these feelings and desires simultaneously.
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When I do get time to enjoy life without pending chores and what not, I enjoy the lake, fishing or cruising the water. I've been dying to go and ride a roller coaster for two years but can't force myself to go alone. I enjoy the simple life and live in a small world.
I've dated a few girls since moving to Roanoke but I have not made any real and lasting connections. I believe such a connection will begin with a great friendship to where one really gets to know the other. I guess a true and deep bond is what I am after; past that, let nature and fate take over to deal matters that are way over my head :
I guess you could consider me a decent looking guy. Cute would be my category, not Brad but far from ugly. I'm neither in shape or out, I'm a white guy, country mined and polite gentle and sweet with a healthy sense of humor. I can turn sum-bitch if provoked enough but for the most part I am a good guy. I am extremely reliable and predictable; be it good or bad I find it painful to lie and almost wont! I've spent a lifetime learning through mistakes and the" me now" is the result of a small handful of regrets.
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