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Personally, I moving. I've done it a fair amount, and I think the adventure of starting over in a new place is a wonderful thing. Nothing teaches you more about who you really are. BUT it isn't all fun and games and romantic notions, moving is hard and sometimes very lonely. I worry a bit about you moving to a place he already has a lot of roots. Why there? Do you have good career prospects there? Any kind of social support of your own? He's moving back to a community he knows, not you. In some ways, it even make it harder for you to make your own set of friends likely you'll just be part of 'his' group. Not having your own, separate identity and social circle isn't a great idea imo. It be something you have to put a lot of work into. And there are a million other questions too have you guys always been distance? Have you ever lived together before? Have you ever lived with a SO? Have you talked about EVERYTHING? Finances, expectations, chores, future plans, etc, etc. This isn't something to take lightly and is worth looking at critiy. If you want to do it, do it sometimes is worth a risky leap just be smart about it. Enjoy the warm fuzzies, but don't risk your whole future make sure you have a plan for if it DOESN'T work out. You don't want to find yourself broke and isolated. I moved for, and it worked out great. I know others who moved for and it fizzled quickly. For some it was a good learning experience, for others it was a source of deep regret. The first group are the ones who'd thought about the 'what if it doesn't work' and had a solid plan. for the best, prepare for the worst. looking for females to photograph not nude- of us are adults and have impulse control. what i mean is that we choose which urges to act on and refrain from doing reckless things that we might be able to "get away with". unless you are an adolescent or a sociopath, your goal is not usually to what you can get away with in life. it is to make choices that matter and live with integrity. you actually desperately NEED therapy, but you clearly don't WANT it. that is fine. if you don't want to change, then therapy is not some kind of magic pill that fix you. therapy is for people who are ready to make changes and willing to put in the work needed to actualize their goals. you are still rationalizing your behavior (hey, people do what they can get away with, everyone would behave like me if they could! OR i don't treat women nearly as badly as other men do) and defending acting like an adolescent neanderthal. i don't any to change in that. i do think that when you are 50 and single, and unable to attract women or find sex easily anymore, you might be lonely and envious of your peers who were able to form meaningful relationships and have families. but hey, maybe not. african american women
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