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i need a real one in my life I know you want relationship advice and here I am giving you healing and therapeutic advice. Okay, here’s relationship advice. Tell him you him and that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Tell him that you don’t know what to do to deepen the relationship but you very much want to do that. Tell him that you don’t know how to ask for what you want and need from him really, you don’t know how to figure out what you want and need from anyone, including yourself. Tell him that you have a habit of lying; that you want to learn how to be truthful. Tell him that you have unresolved issues in your past; that you need therapy and you’re going to get it. Ask him whether he be your partner and stick with you for the haul. That while you’re a way from being ready to get married, you know he’s the guy for you. Ask him to reflect on your request for a while before responding. Tell him that you understand this is a significant request. And that you’re going to accept whatever he says at face value. DO NOT BE EMOTIONAL. Guys hate it when women cry. They get so uncomfortable with it, they’ll tell you anything to make you stop crying and you really need an authentic reply. So, keep your composure. No tears! I mean it! If you need to, give it to him in writing. That way he can read it over and over and can be clear about what you’re asking. Then, listen to what he says and accept it at face value. If he says he’s in for the haul, accept it. If he says he doesn’t know whether he could be in for a haul, accept it. Next, create a program for healing. Find a good psychotherapist. I recommend that you find one familiar with ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy). They are all over the west coast, it won’t be a problem. If you need meds for depression, anxiety, insomnia, etc., get a psychiatrist. Join a support group for. Read self help books. Take some educational seminars dealing with life enrichment (tons on that on the west coast). Cut your work hours back and get into some creative therapy (paint, draw, voice lessons, theatre, play a musical instrument, etc.). Take time for self care (cooking, nutrition, exercise, sleep). Nurture you home and body so they’re the perfect expression of who you are. Expand you network of friends. are there any men not looking for adults friends mature
ca65 dinner tonight may olive gradenwas just trying to deal with my issue. I was afraid if I brought up anything of his I thought was an issue it would look like I was making excuses for him. His issues. He overcompensates with his because he only has them half time. Therefore, he allows them to manipulate him and he attempts to buy their. However, he is doing this out of for his so it is hard to fault him. He allows his parents to manipulate his life by running to their every command. They do financially compensate him for this but that creates a hold. He over schedules himself with others that are in need, therefore, causing him to get overwhelmed which creates a need to pull away from everything. He still cannot even remotely have a civil conversation with his ex-wife. After 7 years they are still fighting over small stuff. He allows his feelings and opinions for his ex-wife to over to his time with his. He bad mouths her to them. I very much disagree here and we are working on this one. I am trying to get him to understand, she is their mother, regardless of how he feels about her. And that they have to her for what she is in their own time. I do not want to paint a negative picture of him. Some of these issues are part of the characteristics I. His devotion to his family is admirable. But it also at times creates problems. definition of dating
i want a girl to fck ready for a divorce simply because you sound very close to indifference or are already there. When some one can't inspire any type of passionate response in me, good or bad, I know the relationship is in it's death throes. Contrary to other posters. I don't think 3 years is that to get over an affair. Hell I think most people NEVER get over an affair. And really, it would be easier to get over an affair if the person who messed up was bending over backward or at least showing they are sorry, for as as it took to make things right again in the marriage. If I were you, I'd start going to a counselor to work out my thoughts on divorce for myself if I were an unsure as you. I appreciate that you tried to paint for us the financial and career tones, in your marriage. But don't let whatever success you have, get in the way of moving forward with your life even if it doesn't include your wife. You only have so years on this earth. You don't want to spend any of them unnessarily hitched to some one who makes you miserable. Money is just money. There always be more. Your time, your intimate moments, your energy and your happiness are much more finite. You don't have to let 5 years of married life dictate how you spend the rest of your adulthood. And you really need to stop caring what people think of you. A lot of marriages don't work out for various reasons and very few people can say it was any one person's fault. As abhorent as the divorce stigma be, people can smell an unhappy marriage a mile away and the accompanied pity is worse in my opinion. any hung college dude want to get blown
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