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you broke into the private affairs of your wife and now you know. You felt like there was something fishy and found out you were right to a certain degree. You know that at a minimum they were having a lot of contact, what you don't know is exactly where this was leading. One strong point you need to make clear in your head .while you had some responsibility in the troubled state of your marriage, you are in no way responsible for your wife's reaction and actions to that. How she dealt with her dissatisfaction with the relationship is on HER. Not you. You both need to own your own shit. What's most problematic is you know how your wife reacts to issues within her relationship..she seeks the attention elsewhere. She gets something out of this guy's attention. What are you going to do now? You know and you're hiding your bad behavior by trying to act like you don't know about her's. Come clean dude lay it out. WHY are you untrusting? TELL HER. Bridge the gaps of communication for fuck sake. She lie to you, she is perfectly willing to hide the truth and so are you. You felt she was lying you sensed it, you don't trust her so you checked and found out you were RIGHT and became a liar when you did. I'm not going to lie to you this 'confession' might lead to a complete breakdown and all the bad shit you are afraid of could come out of it. Anger, hurt and loss of the marriage yup, could explode so you better get another point straight in your head why confront and admit your deceptions? Well if I wanted to try and salvage a relationship I sure as hell wouldn't want to salvage a BAD one. A bad one SHOULD end and hopefully this is the catalyst for a GOOD one to begin. That is if that's your motivation. Make sure you state intention first if you're just trying to work around all this fuck that, you won't ever get a decent relationship. And the magic eight ball says the odds aren't real good so buckle in for some work Chicago girls have sexthe existence of "soulmates" or "the one", I think that there are people that we meet in a lifetime that we recognize we could develop romantic or sexual feelings toward and develop a successful intimate relationship with, but due to circumstances such as timing, geography, or other attachments and loyalties, etc. we make the choice not to do so. It's entirely believeable in this case that the OP and his late friend's widow are two such people. After all they both had different but lasting intimate relationships with the same person and probably share experiences, connections, and values. There could well be latent feelings that have been submerged because of respect for the existing relationships that are now rising to the surface with the death of the friend. I think it's a question of timing. Right now both people are sharing feelings of loss and the wounds are still raw. Emotions are tangled and confused and not well understood. Time is needed for feelings to get sorted out. To me if he feels this way the question is not if he should explore this, but when. Now is too early. If he were to press his case now the woman might well feel pressured and unready to deal with these emotions and close the door on something she might be interested in later. There needs to time for feelings of loss and mourning to take their normal course. eastern european women
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