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at 11 years old my rumaged through boxes in the closet and found an old phone. Then he went through all the cords in a draw and found a cord for the phone. put it all together to make it work. then he ed me and the when his mother left him alone. 14 is old enough, and actually 8 and 10 is old enough for a few or so hours on there own. In my case the only reason that the cops took the and passed to to me is cause their mother had taken the phone with her so they could not me. She had left them to out with her boyfriend within an hour of me dropping them off from visitation. (her boyfriends are more important then her -) That was actually the sway point where I ended up with custody, but it wasn't cause they where alone at 11 and 8, it was cause she took the phone and left no food. its so hot outThe phrase about him treating you “politely” bothers me. This statement seems to evoke serious emotional distance, good and bad. The “passion” of trying to relate to each other is normal. This nebulous thing about being “happy” always puzzles me as I have no idea what that means..to YOU. And, as an adult you need to know that ALL happiness is transient. The truly valuable things in a relationship go much deeper and are a constant in a good marriage, these things usually last your entire life. When you get couples who are not innately communicative and you mix in a little time you get allot of issues being pushed into a back burner. These issues be small but their cumulative effects can be very large. Going to a counselor be forcing him to “open up” and maybe he’s just not ready to do that, ergo all the sudden anger. You might want to put this off until he is ready. Right now it just force him to really cut the cord on the marriage. counselors are not really trained to deal with deep root issues (as you and he have) and they can do more harm than good trying to get things more communicative. As far as a suggestion. Try to get to the root of the communications issues by seeing a good psychotherapist and if he can find out why you have your communications problems and what you can do about it. After you get a handle on how to deal with your problems, you might be able to help him..either by getting him to go or through your actions make life more livable. My focus is on fixing the problem and not the symptoms. Good luck. adult nursing relationships
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