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Sorry to crosspost; I first posted in women and realized that I'd really like to also have the opinion of someone closer to grannies age group (anyone here mid seventies?) and possibly the grieving people over in death and dying. I'm nog spamming every forum I promice! About 4 months ago my uncle died. He lived out of state and I only met him once, I was really and don't remember. I have lots of questions about him and want to write a blog entry about his lie, but I'm not sure if my grandmother would be honest about if she wants to talk about him or not. I have tons of questions about his very interesting life based on what she told me already. My grandmother told me a few very fascinating things about him and now I want to write a blog entry about his life and I have lots of questions; I wish I would have taken notes when she told me about him when he was alive and in 2 recent conversations we had over lunch. Basiy he was the 2nd in the nation to use a new method to save with a certain birth defect; when he was born they said he wouldn't make it to 2, when he was they found this new technology but said he was still too small and weak for them to use it on him and he wouldn't make it to be strong enough, I think she said he was 5 when they tried it on him and said he probably wouldn't make it through surgery. After the surgery they said he would definitely not make it to 20 but he lived to be 50. I have lots of questions about him, his life, and how this all happened before welfare when I know my family was VERY VERY poor the whole time. Anywhoo I have a ton of questions and I was thinking about sitting my grandmother down tomorrow, showing her my blog and the kinds of things I write about, and then asking her if I can ask my questions about my uncle. I'm just not sure if its too or if answering all these questions be hurtful to her or she would like to talk about her. He is the second one she's lost and the most distant; her other 4 sons lived in town. Missoula women Missoula
I run a parent support program for a very at risk population. I deal with a lot of these issues, including issues around incarceration. First, I would NOT bring him to dad in jail. A going through this much needs routine and stability more than anything. Not spanking, not lengthy extreme punishment, not leaping from sport to sport. R-O-U-T-I-N-E. He need to know what to expect, and this takes time and a heck of a lot of from you. For most, it takes at LEAST 10x of repeating a behavior until it's internalized (and if you slip up, it's like you are starting from scratch), but for a with ADHD and ODD, it's going to take more. Jumping from thing to thing only teaches him that if he causes enough grief, you'll give up that strategy, ensuring that he'll do it again. I would highly recommend the video 1-2-3 Magic. Even if you don't go with that particular strategy (though I've seen it work wonders for some tough -) it has some great parenting tips. When I extreme behavior cases, there are a few area we always look at positive reinforcement (there should be at LEAST 4 to 1 positive to negative communication), routine, diet and exercise. You wouldn't BELIEVE how much behavior issues are tied to diet and exercise. If he isn't getting at least and hour a day of sweaty, breathing hard play, while eating a good diet and cutting out sugar, it be nearly impossible to make any additional headway. But the most important factor here is you. YOU need to feel stable and calm and in control and that sounds really difficult while trying to raise a with special needs on your own. I you seek out support join a parenting support group, get a good counselor, a parenting hotline, make some time for yourself. You need to take care of yourself to best take care of him. lonely women BudaLooking for an older women this weekend. naughty swingers
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