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I recently made that gut-wrenching choice. I left a verbally abusive marriage. Sometimes just making that choice is the hardest part. Things seem to fall in place for me after the initial decision was made. The positives for me were a sense of peace and returning to my home, a sense of myself returning as well. The are weathering it well and b/c I have made room for my own peace and happiness, I am so much more available to them emotionally. Living in an unhappy marriage costs a great deal. If you have little or no, it can't hurt to give separation a try. I understand the dread of leaving your, it was probably the last point in my decision making process. Fight for them as much as you can make them a priority, but in the times that you don't have them, work on healing yourself and filling yourself up so that you are % when you do have them. The big picture be healthier than them seeing both of you miserable all the time. We only get one shot at life I really encourage you to seek your truth and a better life. sexy Knightstown Indiana new to townFor one thing, I have to be upfront and tell you that I do not believe in "self-esteem". Or, rather, I think the term has been misused to the point where it's hard to recognize. I think gelg is correct, in that self-esteem is more a matter of in one's own competency and assurance that one is capable of solving the problems that life throws at you. How does one develop that sense of competency and assurance? By doing it over and over and over again. By failing, sometimes, and realizing that you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get moving again after a disappointment either being fired, losing a relationship, not achieving a goal, etc. EVERYONE fails at some point in life, and it's what we learn from those failures that help us succeed in future endeavors. And here's the problem: There's a whole generation of whose parents brought them up afraid to allow them to fail, because they were afraid that it would "damage their self esteem." What we're now seeing is the result of that well-meaning but misguided notion people grew up under a false series of life "successes" where they were constantly told how wonderful they were. You know the philosophy: No one is allowed to lose, that's why everyone gets a trophy. Their ability to figure out ways around obstacles was never challenged, and when they finally DO face some kind of failure, they fall apart. Then there's the aspect of being inner-driven, rather than outwardly-driven. Outwardly-driven people spend a great deal of time worrying about what other people think about them, and trying to gain the approval of others even if that so-ed "approval" is fleeting or superficial, and sometimes, not even good for the person (.,). How can anyone have 'self' confidence when everything they do, think or feel is dictated by others? There is no sense of "self" they simply become mirrors. There's more but that's the basics. free video chat
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