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Ok, I get where you're coming from entirely. It's so hard on the kiddos when dad doesn't show up. It just sucks. I know you are the one to pick up the pieces from the broken heart too. So sad. Unfortunately, this is sort of how my dad did the fade on them. However, when he did or show up my always were available for him. I did this because I knew they really loved him in spite of all his flaws and were happy for the time they did spend with him. Now that he's not around at all anymore, I've had to dry a tear. So, since you are so determined here's what I suggest. You don't have to hide or even be vindictive. What you do is gather all your evidence of him not exercising his visitation and have it legally. Put him on a probation period. 6 months of supervised visitation without missing one single time and he can start to have more. If he misses you don't have to go back, have it so that "the parents agree" and you have the final word on visitation. good luck horney milfs Burnley nelson
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