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first of all thanks in advance for any help or advice or pointers you give. ok a little background. my husband and i lived together over a year before we got better. we got along great. never seemed to fight, never seemed to argue always worked out disagreements without raising our voices. we got married a year ago november. it's my first marriage, his second. he's 12 years my senior. i'm trying to keep this short. we developed problems last fall. we got snippy with each other and argued about everything. he never considered my feelings before saying or doing something. and i ended up hurt and angry. so he suggested we a counselor. hallelujia! so we saw a counselor for a couple months. we worked through some stuff and things got a little better. then he didn't do anything for our first anniversary. no card no flowers no happy anniversary no nothin. i'm hurt and angry again. counselor helps us through it. so after a while our counselor says we're doing good and we'll work it out fine. we do good for a few weeks. and now he doesn't get anything for -'s day. i'm crushed. so we talk about it yesterday and today and he pulls the "well i guess i just don't do anything right" card and "maybe you should just leave if you're not happy" wth? i'm trying to stay patient and help him understand what i need and understand his needs but it seems like if it doesn't matter to him he doesn't give a care. i've tried flat out telling him my needs i've tried leaving him notes i've tried trading him favors. nothing works more than a week. i'm not asking for much. i'm not high maintenance but i'm not no maintenance. a $2 box of chocolates would have made me happy on v-day. but the fact that he didn't even consider that it would make me happy to do SOMETHING hurts me worse than anything. what can i do? i'm still here i still want to be married but i want my husband to be sensitive to my needs. i want to know i'm worth the effort it takes to buy a $2 box of chocolate :( sexy latino from up Empire Colorado
It requires an immense amount of vulnerability on her part to overcome these issues. First, she has to WANT to. If she wants to, then make sure you provide a safe and non-judging environment to SLOWLY help her cross her self-imposed lines. She think she's a bad lover and that nothing can make her better. If you push a small boundary, praise her for it, then wait a while until you try to push another, you might have success. She wants to know she is safe, won't be forced to do anything she's uncomfortable with, and eventually she open up (literally and figuratively). You have to be very patient and don't try to introduce a lot of new stuff in short order. If you do, she feel completely inadequate, and we are a total pain in the neck to deal with when our self esteem is in the toilet. Space it out enough so that she has time to get used to, and enjoy, the new activity, and she'll ease into it better. Also, if you make her feel beautiful, it reap you rewards. of us women have sex drive issues because we hate our bodies. I really feel for you. I wish I could apologize to my ex for being the same way with him. It was unfair to him and my fear and inhibitions helped kill our relationship. The sick humor of it is that the breakup caused so much stress I lost all the weight, look fabulous now, and am having superb sex (but am really poor!). you seek a man who will Milton youi'm sorry, but your boyfriend is not an adult. adult men make their own decisions, they do NOT say things like "mom and i decided that i stay here for christmas " RED -! i have no idea how or why you are dating someone who is completely enmeshed with his mom, has failed to grow up, and is okay with you working your ass off while he jacks off at home. i would have dumped him yesterday. no would be playing x-box all day while i am at work and caring for. this is crazy. you seem like an ambitious and hardworking woman. maybe it is time to find an equal partner with similar qualities. don't you deserve better? ladies wants men
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