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you as a parent must have seen signs of how he has been acting from day one. From what I have read it depends on the and how it was handled by the parents -but yes it can be from the divorce. try to hide the hurt from the parents, in their way they are trying to protect the parent(s). Some even believe they were the cause of the divorce. Also you say the father has remarried with 3. When he is there he not feel that he belongs -the 3 belong there but he is only a visitor without any real connection -in his mind. It does not matter what you say to him it has to come from actions when he is there -so much time has elapsed. The father be -my goodness with 3 new not have the time to spend with his/your -! He not even realize exactly what it is, only that there is something missing. Not much detail provided but from my own reading on the subject, it does have a profound effect on their minds. Remember from their point of view all that they knew of the world came from the both of you -that world in a blink of an eye was turned upside down. That is why of divorce turn away from religion. If the whole world- "their parents" -that they trusted and believed in is no longer true how can they have in a God they can not. Interviews on of divorce who now have themselves -who from all outward appearances are success stories have spoken of feelings buried deep in them that stem from their parents' divorce. So the answer to your short question is -it is possible! The only question is to what degree they are affected. Some studies have show that from unhappy marriages faired better than most of divorce. EXCEPT those that were involved in physical situation. don't get me wrong, I don't know you and I make no judgements I am responding to your post for the sake of your. No guilt or blame should be taken or given, just move forward the best you can and keep giving him he needs to be reminded of that fact in actions and words. But every situation is different and there be other factors at work. Good luck I feel for you -I have ones also -it worries me but that is good since it keeps me on the high road in all my dealing with all those involved. married women wanting Les Mazeires
Bare with me for a sec cuz I'm just thinking this out but I think people also forget that marriage is very different these days than it used to be. Gender rolls in western society were far more rigid. Men were expected to support their wives and financially and wives were expected to support their husband and emotionally/domestiy. Men were groomed to be the "men of the house" and women were groomed to be "good wives and mothers." I think a lot of the problems with marriage today stem from a blurring of those rolls and people having to define their marriages for themselves with a LOT more gray area. It's WONDERFUL but also very confusing. Particularly since most people are unaware of just how much the feminist movement has changed our society as a whole. It's kind of nice to think that men of my generation actually think that women are their equals. It's still happening though and things are still be ironed out. Both of your examples prove my point. "Men need to help more" -> Indicative that the male gender roll still hasn't quite solidified to be "obvious" that men need to also do things traditionally thought of as a wife's roll. The need to keep dating their spouse, I think, is fallout from the fact that women are now able to walk away from marriage without being social pariahs. They have a lot more choices (choices traditionally reserved to men) and though it's a touchy subject it's not nearly as acceptable for husbands to rape their wives. The "not enough sex" issue and cheating has been a millenia arguement so not so new. Men have been keeping mistresses for as as there were "monogamous" relationships. What I think is interesting is that men are less able to go outside of their relationships without their wives/gf's leaving them and SO it also leaves a certain amount of responsibility on the part of the women to try and keep their menfolk happy. Again fallout from the blurring of gender rolls. Where women were previously more dependent and unable to leave in a lot of situations or chose to turn a blind eye, we more and more this cheating is unacceptable so now what? situation. Enid girls seek sexI just barely learned of the borderline thing of weeks ago. Happened upon the book 'surviving a borderline parent'. It was a shockingly illuminating read!!! 98% every applicable. I'm so grateful to have learned that, so now I can start shoveling myself back together lol. I got over the jerk ex rapist. boyfriend years ago, I don't care, yes I'm over that. My mother, no. My dad ignoring everything? no. What I sooooooo desperately want to get past now that I understand it is self-sabotaging all my life. Abusive relationships I plopped myself into. Dumb feelings that I'm experiencing with the great I finally have for no reason? Guilt. Guilt because I wanted a different mother. Numbness. She almost died two years ago, multiple hemorrhagic stem strokes. I was there with her when it happened, I took her to ER barely in time for it to happen and was there watching while the ER people ran around. Surreal. Numb. I never felt sadness or pain, just nothing. And still nothing, and so guilty for that still. I want to get my feelings back before she's gone forever. I do her You've been through it, haven't you? And now I'm crying :( Thank you local amateur woman
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