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I agree with other posters' suggestions that she is probably a willing worker with low professional esteem at this point and that counseling could be helpful. But, since you are a bull-by-the-horns kind of guy, I would also suggest you abide by: the only person you can change is yourself. Your wife is obviously going through something. Meanwhile, you have the power to orchestrate your own life. If it means cutting back on expenses and downsizing, FANTASTIC. Every instance I've ever seen of people reducing the cost of their lifestyles has resulted in an increase in their QUALITY of life. Better relationships, more family time, etc. You know, though I doubt it is the case, there is always the your wife has CHANGED in the last decade, so that she no longer wants to work as a full-time teacher, or perhaps work full time at all, or perhaps work outside the home at all. And there really is nothing morally wrong with that sort of change of heart. I actually think homemakers in families are extremely valuable to the overall quality of a family's life. Much more important than large houses, foreign vacations, cars, etc. mwm needs a woman with an oral fixation
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