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Even in your struggle, your gentleness, kindness and intelligence shimmer. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with your ex, now of all times. You can spend time trying to answer the unanswerable questions or trying to make sense of her behavior, but you need your energy to heal and regain your strength. Step outside yourself and imagine you are a friend. You wouldn't want your friend feeling tormented by an insensitive/confused ex who isn't deserving of you nor capable of being the rock you need. Take a fragrant bubble bath and afterward, lotion up your new body and show your body she's beautiful and loveable just as she is. Then eat some of the food your friends left for you. This is the hardest trial and now that you've had your surgery, you're moving in the direction of health and empowerment. Cling to real the supportive, unconditional, generous that your friends have for you. And visualize that bathing you inside and out. Do everything you can to release your ex. No matter how you hold onto what it could've been it isn't and won't ever be. Consider it a gift that you're free, independent and on a path to your filled future. And now that your friends have shown how much they care, let them know what you need! don't hesitate or feel needy, because compassionate people are honored to have an opportunity to show. Your asking them for help is a gift to them. Ask them to come over and spend time with you. Or drive you to the doctor. Or bring you a movie or something to eat. heals in both directions. r u ok? hot sex dates in Whites Washington WAface their desires because that's a slippery slope, making me wonder what he's suppressing for fear of going down that "slippery slope." He never lets himself get carried away enough to take charge, although he fully enjoys the sex that we have. He has indulged me in some of my less-than-vanilla desires, and been in the room when I've indulged some of mine, and he seems amused and delighted by them, even when he doesn't participate. When he does participate, he seems to really enjoy them. For example, holding me down seems to now come very naturally to him, and he does it unasked (which did not happen at first I had to ask for it again and again, and express my pleasure during and after, and so forth). Also, he's been ever so slightly more in some ways. For example, BJs have become less me performing on him and more towards him fucking my mouth. It's a slight shift in that direction (it used to be % me performing while he laid back and enjoyed, and now it's maybe 95% me and an occasional thrust from him). I think he was worried about hurting me, or about treating me disrespectfully, and so he was not "doing anything to me" but fully enjoying me "doing stuff to him" if/when I chose, if that distinction makes sense. Then again, he never wants to discuss any of it, either as aftercare, prelude, or at a completely random unrelated time, so I'm left with conjecture. Or sometimes I'll mention something and get a really short slight response. I can't push too much, or he runs. But I'm dealing. That was cathartic. Thanks for asking! swinger ads
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