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I met my boyfriend on a dating site. We also slept together on our 4th date; similar circumstances he made me dinner at his place. I had a family emergency about a few weeks later and was leaving town. I had some insecurities and basiy said to him, "so, are you still online and dating? I know this might be a premature conversation, and I'm not trying to put you in a space you're not in, but I'm not looking around, and I just wanted to where you were, so I could know how to proceed for myself." He was great. He said "it would be horrible if you were seeing other people." I say, start the conversation. You can protect yourself against STDs, but even more important is protecting yourself against tailoring your behavior and investing yourself in someone who isn't thinking like you are about what's going on between you. You can be mellow and start the conversation to simply say what you're thinking, find out where he is, and adjust your expectations and behavior accordingly to take care of yourself. Best of luck! where is my hot 40 yo female friendWho has the authority to judge you and who decides whether your bad choice is more egregious than someone else’s bad choice? And after you receive judgment and punishment (unless of course you are perfect ;)) who is worthy to say whether you get a second. For me I it isn’t someone that thinks they are perfect I it’s someone that has failed like me. Using words like “mistake” and “bad choice” to me really hides the horror of the actions in question. And that’s what rankles me. Anyone can judge me for anything based on their own authority. That’s fine, you don’t have to like me, and we can respect each other’s space. People judge me for using cunt in a postive sense, that’s okay. No skin off my ass. The consequences of other people judging me is the issue. Someone can decide to dislike me because I say “cunt”, in which case nothing happens to me. Someone can decide to beat me up because they don’t like lesbians, which means I’m injured and my social calender be full of lawyer meetings and court dates for the next year. The bottom line is I am not going to do horrible shit that damages other people. Anyone that I harm has the right to judge me, and take me to court where I be sentanced. The community has a right to judge me, whether I have contributed good things or caused pain or destruction. Anyone who advocates for someone who can not stand up for themselves (like or -) judge anyone who harms them, and take action to effect a positive change. And I would that someone dealing out consequences at a trial is not a fellow animal abuser or molester. black women dating white men
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