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I'm not even going to read all the way down here. Something needs to be said and you need to hear it. You need to learn about your body. Women are born with a private part that is made solely for pleasure. It's ed a clitoris. If you don't know where yours is find it. Once you know where it is at show him. Once he knows where it is at tell him he's not going to penetrate you until you get your satisfaction him how to use his finger, tongue, a vibrator what ever it takes. When you're flat on your back you can push him back with your legs so he can't go in. I'd never imagine having sex with my wife without first offering her her due satisfaction which is my responsibility. Tell him flat out that he's never given you an orgasm and you're not going to give him one until you've had one. Once the big event has taken place tell him he can have it whenever he wants as as you get yours first. If you have trouble with dryness make sure you get some KY or something. I would think he'd be very turned on by the idea of you getting off. I slept with someone who was like you and thought wham bam thank you ma'am was all there was to it. It shocked me.
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