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Funny story i thought i would post- earlier this week myself, my SO and two of our good friends went to a dive bar for a drink after a softball game. we were there having fun and this doofus starts saying inappropriate things about my SO. I told him to let it go and get over it (she was being too loud for his taste) so this guy gets in my face, and i tell him to chill out cuz i don't fight with people- i have better things to do than sit in jail or nurse head wounds etc. This guy was intent on proving his masculinity (he was about 6" taller than me) and kept coming at me defaming my SO- so i puffed up and told him to sit down and watch his mouth. his (about 4" taller than me) stands up and instructs doofus #1 to "spit on them" and thus, this ass spit in my face, and smacked my glasses off my face- simultaneously his doofus #2 has the nerve to spit in my SO's face!. I took a flying leap at both of these guys, landing my fist in doofus #2's left eye, he falls and is taking my down with him, so i lock him in a headlock and land 3-4 more to his left eye. I look up seeing where doofus #1 is and where in the hell my friends were only to doofus #1 in full swing with his fist going for my face! 'm screwed. where the hell are my friends? I couldnt turn away fast enough to not get hit so i just waited for it, and out of nowhere the future Mrs. Shamus jumps over me and clocks this guy in the side of his head and knocks him back away from me, she then turns and clocks the guy i was holding (i had let him go in the anticipation of getting cheap shotted while on the ground) by the time doofus #1 came too the bar staff seperated everyone. they continued to try and start the fight up again, but i am not going to deliberately put my SO in harms way like that. I am just so proud of her, i mean she NAILED that guy when i was in a pickle, and saved me some hurt. the only people that got hurt were the aggressors, one with a black eye and the other got a concussion from my SO. neither her nor i have ever gotten into a bar brawl before, and i am pleased that we had eachothers back, i protected her and she protected me (my "friend" saw what was going on and decided to go pay his or some BS) we went home and had the best sex for about 2 hours after that- maybe i should have thanked them for the trouble aa for curvy femaleThe husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well." OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lifts her skirt and the old drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something. You must of had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?" Shaking, the old is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence." extreme dating
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