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She was involved with a married who you knew/ were friendly with, and you knew his wife kid too (not sure if I'm remembering that all correctly). And I think I remember you sayin that her having this affair with this guy became a bit of a repellant for you, in terms of your finding her attractive. You struck up your friendship/ relationship back in the states, before she moved away. I'm going to go with what I believe was the basic line of argument in my advice to (what I remember as) your original post: A while back, your gut told you something important about this woman and you kept your distance as a result. Now, however, after getting yourself knee-deep in her problems and such (as I it), you now feel a sort of sense of duty to her. But the thing is, your listening to her problems hasn't actually helped her to begin to resolve anything. Meaning, she's still acting out on all the problems she's already told you that she has. And that's because her 'confiding' in you wasn't therapy it wasn't her doing any work on herself what is was, was a process of her telling you who she is. And if you step back from that for a second, from the sentiment that came from those talks, you'll likely that the things she's told you jive with the things you *sensed* about her however so ago (when she was having that affair and you didn't find her attractive). And I'm guessing all this because, here you are, saying you need to break up with her now, and not too after your original post (what's it been, like a month? Maybe a lil more?). So, the way I it: You got sucked in, the same way the other guy(s) have. And I think now, once and for all, you should listen to yor gut and stand down on this one walk away, you don't have a duty here. You have even been/ are being manipulated by her (it's hard to say, though, because I don't know her). wheres all the older women
for the additional background information. You definitely sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and I can % relate to your sense of not being able to enjoy life "as it happens." But the thing is, your education is a part of life, too. Is your bf planning to move/ transfer if grad school takes you out of the LA area? And have you thought about whether or not you really want him to do this? The worry you have about him cheating, and the questions/ concerns that were raised for you following the threesome, is the thing that has me asking all these questions. If he moves, is it to help dispell your fears of his cheating? I'm not sure that's the best reason for you guys to up and leave town together. And youth is a commodity in LA, but LA isn't all of CA and he won't have that asset going for him forever. I'm just saying that, if you guys stay together (with your life moving ahead along a defined track and his.. well..) it be for the right reasons? it be for -/ best friendship, or it be for the sake of crutching/ assuaging insecurities? After all, if you go off to grad school and he doesn't move, you worry? You're not going to have a realistic amount of space for that sort of drama when you're in a grad program. It'll take away from your work. You're going to need to make the highest gpa possible. Just some things to think about. Sorry for riding the higher ed. thing so hard. I've just been through the system and know how much it can take of a person, how much it can seriously impact "life" as it happens. I've no doubt, with the maturity you seem to have, that you can get thru it but it is a terribly important step to take (depending on your field, of course) and it is process that allows minimal baggage/ distractions of its participants. free guitar bass drum piano or ukulele lessons for sexy girlContours of Assumption. local swingers
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