Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array ill eat your pussy hosting nowlick me now Black female size 18 42dd fat wax that needs to be lick. I'm on my last day of my cycle I need my sucked and pulled I can host. Send when replying Ironton Ohio ont discreet encounters date married
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oral receiving woman with a woman who a.) is simply using him because she isn't mature enough to stand on her own two feet. b.) has such a defeatist attitude. c.) would probably be a "yes-woman" without her own mind. You're setting yourself up to be, walked all over and worse., one year is not always enough to get over someone. It took me years of being single. And guess what that years also did for me? Taught me that I being alone. No one to "please," no one to argue with, no eggshells to walk on, complete and utter freedom and relaxation. And I have a TON of friends who would be there in a heartbeat for me if I ever needed anything. For a relationship, there has to be give and take, not just take. The poor schmuck who married you would be doing a whole hell of a lot of giving, and that is totally not fair to him. It is VERY selfish of you. Get involved in hobby activities, volunteer, whatever. Do something that fulfills you. Figure out what about you (YOU are the common denominator) is attracting non-serious guys. Because they are out there in ABUNDANCE. And STOP looking at each guy as a potential husband. Just live in the moment, for -'s sake! Loneliness and desperation can be spotted from a thousand away it's actually driving away all the good guys. What did you want from your post in this forum? A pity party? You've done enough of that on your own. Nobody here is going to say "Awh, poor, poor clgth." are you married and not Reynoldsburg nsa
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Most probably have read my other posts. My ex is moving from the west coast to east coast. I have full legal and physical custody, and I am staying in California. Here is my dilema. My ex wants to visit this w/ me driving half way and him driving halfway meet then again and swap. Problems? that means 8 days each time of travelling for the in vehicles, not fun w/ 11, 9, 7 and 4. Flying would cost roughly since youngest is too to fly by herself. He doesn't have a place to live yet and probably not have a decent set up to deal w/ 4 by time. Add to the dilema, my sister and bil want to fly older 4 out to visit for 2 wks (east coast away from ex) w/ them paying for everything. The only have so for break, I can't in good conscious send them to their aunt and uncle for 2 wks if their dad has an opportunity to fly out here for 2 wks and them. That I don't know for sure, this whole thing is new and I'm trying to do whats best and right. Any ideas on how to say no to my sis and bil? or to make my situation better. married women in Farm View Park
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