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The day I threw away fashion When she hit 60 Lurie realised that fashion no longer spoke to her. So she got rid of half her wardrobe, stopped colouring her hair, gave up wearing makeup and felt euphoric * Lurie * The Guardian, Wednesday 15 after I reached 60 I was abandoned by Vogue magazine and all its clones. Like former lovers who drop you slowly and politely because they once cared for you, they gradually stopped speaking to me. Without intending it I had permanently alienated them, simply by becoming old. From their point of view, I was now a hopeless case. They were not going to show me any more pictures of clothes I might look good in, or give me useful advice about makeup or hair. At first my feelings were hurt. Hadn't I loved fashion and been faithful to her all these years? Just as one avoids the songs that re a lost lover, I stopped reading her magazines, even in a doctor's office. As a result, I felt first panic and then a rush of euphoria. I was abandoned and alone, yes, but I was also free: after more than 60 years, nobody was telling me what to wear. Since fashion no longer pursued and flattered and scolded me, I realised that I did not have to pursue her. I could go through my closet and get rid of all the stylish clothes I really didn't like: the fitted jackets, the cropped pants that left six inches of pale stubbled leg hanging out, the silk dress-for-success blouses with floppy bows and padded shoulders. I also gave away everything too obviously "sexy" that is, shiny and low-cut and tight and uncomfortable. I hadn't worn these outfits for years, essentially because I didn't want to look as if I were hopelessly trying to inflame passion in members of the opposite sex. What was even better was that I could revive clothes I had loved in the past and hadn't been able to bear to throw away, though they had become completely out of date. The patchwork hippie skirts and vests, the filmy scarves and big soft shawls, the loose cowl-neck sweaters, the floppy straw hats, some with feathers or artificial flowers. Some of these things were so far out of date that they looked new, and if they didn't, I didn't care. i need some sweet chocolatealso, take all the american POV ehre witha grain of salt. They (guys and women) are conditioned to think of everything as the guys fault. It is aleays the guys fault for not giving teh woman enough, enough sex, etc. they can never understand that a woman someone with zero and even little interest in sex, and just for the resume their gold diggers actually provide sex and fake to start with. Even when ur wife ahd an affair with her cousin, the american POV blame you with not romancing her enough they can never understand the fact that the woman was probably having an affair with her cousin in itself, and as he was probably a good-for0-nothing guys with no job/career prospects, she just married you for the lifestyle etc. they never understand all that. They think all this is fixable by you buying some flowers and dinners. that's what they are used to. They have relationships based on attraction and at least to start with, and that's the basis of their marriages. when theings go bad, they logiy divorce. They cannot understand the resume-based marriage and marriage between families. Which is also why the system is so stacked against you in US. they cannot understand the intricacies. I am south asian, and have seen my share of passionless marriages. Except girls in cities, most middleclass (daughters of professor/professionals) are the worst are alll goody goody, not knowing much about sex, and often more interested in dress/jewelry/-/eating than boys/sex. Most arranged marriages are never based on, often NOT among people who develop any attraction amongst them, and are plain passionless. However, as living arrangements, they surive. Guy gets some sex (esp in the US you cannot think of the average Indian guy having any success in the club/dating scene, can you?) and some mediocre companionship, and a girl with no independent career prospects and average to below average looks (often totally let go after first -) gets a lifestyle. throw in a past unviable romance on her side and you get a failed marriage. I am just being sympathetic and giving you more realistic advice than most others here. I know much of this painfully, and let me tell you, you not come out of this. you lose someof your hard-earned worth, how much is up to you. dating free
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