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perfect Valdez to a long hot day (Of course.) Actually it's not like there are *crowds* of lovers floating around, so this is possible ;-o Also in this case there's a BDSM element, so the people involved are already tuned to making multiple relationships work. A fair amount of negotiating about expectations happens up front. That's one thing I've found very freeing about poly it's not only acceptable but expected that you're going to have those What Is This Relationship talks that seem to make people crazy in non-poly world. If you're interested, this is a really good piece about poly and dealing with the strong emotions it brings out. It's good relating info for anyone, I think, poly or not! somewhere Vineyard Haven ce and relationship
I've become intrigued though now by this idea of judgment, since (I can't help it) the judgment has been made that I am judgmental. And I'm sorry if I'm thinking out loud a bit, Bean, since you not be responding, but if anyone wishes to I would be very happy to hear her thoughts. So, since, for the sake of argument, I have a greater than average amount of judgmentalness, I am wondering what exactly the difference is between being judgmental and simply judgment. I mean, my understanding of judgment is that it is the process by which a person takes facts, impressions, prior knowledge, new knowledge, observation, etc and puts them all together when confronted with a new situation to "judge" or understand it, make connections, make decisions, etc. So, where is that fine line between doing that and becoming judgment al ? When one becomes disapproving because of the conclusion they have made? Or is there something more or less? And, more to the point, is it possible to do the former (make judgments) without doing the latter (being judgmental)? Is it possible to live a life in which we disapprove of nothing? Is that desirable? What if I (or you, or anyone) were not disapproving of torture? This seems like an awful idea, so I have to wonder if having standards and expectations of behavior (now identified as a required part of the social contract) means that being judgmental is also some part of the social contract? Or is there a way to tease those two things apart so they are not mutually dependent? Is being judgmental in moderation acceptable, and only becomes unacceptable (and therefore worthy of the judgment of others) when it crosses some certain threshold? What is the threshold? girls in akron who want sex
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