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Yet the reality is her lovers give her more intense sexual than I do. When I say this I mean it purely on sexual level. One thing this life style has taught her is how to compartmentalize her sexuality and sexual pleasure. She has the ability to separate sex from and understands that her lovers are for sex. Yet when they are together, the power of their sex is so real and raw. Our sex is loving and intimate and wonderful. Their sex is powerful and deliberate and epic. I know it sounds odd, but the course of their relationships has been much like a heavyweight boxing match. Two finely tuned athletes first feeling each other out and then eventually standing toe to toe, delivering blow after blow, challenging the other give rise up and find their best, finishing the match totally spent and exhausted. Being a part of it for me is a thrill. I her so dearly and seeing her realize the fullness of her sexuality in the context of our marriage and the pleasure that has brought to both of us is nearly beyond description. And being able to share intimacies, and kink with her on my own right is a in and of itself. Yet in the midst of all this, sex and kink, I'd be lying if I didn't recognize a certain amount of uneasiness, nervousness perhaps even anxiety. I'm thrilled she's so fulfilled but why can't I be the one who provides it? What if I were capable of giving her THOSE kind of orgasms? don't get me wrong, I'm far from saying that I'm ready to reign things back in a more monogamous fashion. And I have shared these concerns with her and she gets it. She is very sensitive to my needs. We spend a lot of time cuddling and talking, sometimes immediately after they've finished fucking. This has been great. The only thing we haven't talked about is ending the lifestyle and going back. I'm not saying I want that. If I did I'd feel comfortable saying it to her. Yet at the same time I just feel like, in ways, the dye has been cast. There is no turning back. I'm not sure now our relationship could withstand it. I guess this has been an extremely way of me asking a very simple question. For those involved in this lifestyle, have you experienced this feeling I've described? Of wanting all this for your spouse, yet at the same time being somewhat conflicted by it? sex 77449 and girlsI am 6 months into a relationsip with a much-older woman. I just typed up a pros and cons list regarding her. Here are some cons: My girlfriend's (-) life is permanently enmeshed with her ex partner (-) due to them having a 4 yar old daughter together (-) and always come first and time always be taken away from me in order to care for Due to Naomi’s ever-changing demands, -'s and my time always be unpredictable b/c when says Jump, says how high. Therefore, our time together ALWAYS be contingent on if desires to dump on or not. If she decides to, I get the shaft with no discussion. (- is the biological mother) I never be a priority. I always be third in line, at best. and and -'s family always come before me. (One of the main reasons left was due to the inordinate amount of time and attention she gives to her family, at the cost of her partner so this is not something that is unique to our relationship) and take trips with (they are going to Disneyland next month just the 3 of them) and apparently they always do things as just the 3 of them. I find that disrespectful of me and our relationship but I know it not change. Because of her responsibilities with, she is not able to be there for me. When my dog was in the emergency hospital, I asked her to come with me to visit him b/c I was very upset and she did not because she had her daughter. Similarly, I am currently going thru a really emotional time in which I could really use a girlfriend and she cannot be here for me (except by phone) b/c has food poisoning and so has She is still techniy in a domestic partnership with the ex for tax and health insurance purposes. Even tho I understand the reasoning behind that, it makes me very uncomfortable. However, six months into the relationship, I don’t feel I have the right or leverage to put my foot down and ask for it to be dissolved. I sometimes feel like I am the world’s biggest fool for being with someone who is married to someone. Continued first dating
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