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Hi, I got divorced in. It went fine. We used one lawyer/mediator between us, no problems. We have two. A girl aged 19 and a boy aged 15. They live with their dad, my ex. NOW move ahead. My daughter, who hasn't spoken to me for two years, is graduating from high school this. She's planning on attending a spendy 4 year college hours away where she wants to live on campus. My ex and her decided where she should apply. I had no say even though I just realized the parenting plan says decisions like education is decided jointly. I suggested community college to save money, then transfer to a year college. Oh no! Ex is all about status. No comm. college for his. Sigh He is expecting me to come up with a chunk of money for her college expenses. BUT in our support order it states in Termination of Support shall be paid until the reach age 18 and/or finish high school. states the right to petition for post secondary support is reserved, provided that the right is exercised before support terminates. I think the should be held responsible and help with college. He thinks the parents should pay for everything. How does a -/- adult learn responsibility? And, she doesn't know exactly what she wants to do after college. Isn't this a huge waste of $$? I make $40K per year, he makes around $ K. Do I need a lawyer or can I just tell him to read the legal docs. If he petitions to push me for money, do I need to accept that based on the fact I wasn't consulted in her college decisions? Thank you for any help. I appreciate it. Howell of platonic of casualI mean, texts are easy to ignore. And I think you DO know why they upset you, they highlight the grave imbalance in your relationship, and rub it in your face when you're already stressed out. It seems like you've tried to talk to him about the texts, but have you talked to him about the other issues? The fact that you are becoming more of a 'mom' than a partner, that you are loosing respect for him, that you are looking at him with more resentment and less with ever inconsiderate act? If you HAVEN'T, you need to. If you HAVE, and he refuses to change, you can either accept that this is the way it is, or you can leave. I do sympathize. My DH was unemployed for a while and it was by far the worst time in our relationship. It wasn't just the income imbalance, it was the fact that I was STILL doing most of the chores, shopping, cooking, care taking, and he played a lot of video games. If he didn't change, I would have been gone. Some of this was depression, some of it was laziness, some of it was just not realizing what was on my plate (and me not saying anything until I wanted to throttle him). We worked it out, and everything 'feels fair' to both of us, and we check in about it regularly. (heck, now he works two jobs, still does a lot of the chores, and even cooks twice a week) Balance and communication are two of the hardest things in a relationship, but also two of the most important. Partnering works way better than parenting your SO. swingers dating
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