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ca65 pizza and cocktailsWe've been married for almost 2 years, been together for 3. Spouse joined the military shortly after we started dating. Blame it on stress, me, life, whatever- spouse gets hooked on SPICE aka synthetic cannabis and has been for at least 11 months. Spouse smokes per day. I've tried to make my spouse stop by taken serious precautions including reporting the situation to my spouse's command. This is all to no avail as you can't force an addict to quit if they don't want to. Also, the military didn't do shit at the time. Spouse passed the tests because spice clears out in 48 hours. Now, they've put a ban on it but it hasn't stopped my spouse from buying it elsewhere. It doesn't matter to my spouse that we could lose everything. The constant mood swings, temper flares, negative attitude, anxiety, restlessness, extreme diarrhea, vomiting, uncontrollable coughing, weight gain, money wasted and smokers smell is driving me insane. My home is being destroyed as well. My spouse just no longer gives a fuck. Recently my spouse totaled our car on the way to buy more spice. My spouse hates everything and refuses to take the blame for anything. I'm isolated in my own home. We sleep separately though occasionally spouse wants sex. Why I give it, I have no clue. I feel like I'm a room mate in my own home. I have tried to leave, threaten to leave and I'm still here. Not because I actually want to be though, it's just harder. I do blame myself for sticking around as most people would've left ages ago. I just feel like I'm financially dependent on my spouse. Financially wise, I have very little. I just started a small business and would move out at the jump of a hat but that would take at least 5-6 months before I can afford something in this area on my own. There's a hole in my heart it sure does suck when something like this happens when you thought you'd share a life with someone you loved for years to come. But fuck it. My spouse's selfish addiction is what caused things to go sour and feeling sorry for myself isn't going to make it better. I must hustle and move on with my life. I refuse to be unhappy and stuck with this idiot. How can someone play russian rullette with their health, marriage, and career? Until I move out, I don't know what to do. black women and marriage
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