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and I don't mean to sound so ous about it. People make decisions and regret them all the time, so really it's not surprising that people regret the decision to have an abortion. They would probably regret the decision to not have one as well. This is where I find conflict in my own beliefs. Some states require some sort of basic counselling to make sure that the mother is making a well informed decision. They go, talk to a shrink, then have to wait for a set amount of time (1-3 days I think), and then can make their formal decision. I agree with this practice in theory, because I can't imagine how difficult a decision it would be, and such decisions should not be made in the heat of the moment. But in reality this practice presents a burden on lower income women. They have to take time off work for the counselling and more time off for the proceedure as well. That just adds more stress to someone who's already faced with a difficult decision. So, is required counselling helping or hurting them ? As for the claim that "most of them do not stem from rape or even failed contraception, but are simply 'conveniences'." This is such a common claim but is rarely supported by data. What defines 'conveniences' in these cases anyway? "I can't afford to have a kid and can't stand the thought of giving my offspring away" or "I don't look good in maternity clothes" or "If my hubby finds out I cheated on him he'll kill me". Could be anything. Also, I can easily a scenario where someone was raped but wasn't able to admit it I wonder if and how often those cases of abortion exist that aren't reported as rape but as "conveniences". Oh yeah and Unruh's statement that "- who have had abortions.." Any scholar knows that is just a filler for when you don't have actual data but your intuition or bias says that you have a lot of something but don't have the to back up your claims. gamer guy seeks gamer girlBare with me for a sec cuz I'm just thinking this out but I think people also forget that marriage is very different these days than it used to be. Gender rolls in western society were far more rigid. Men were expected to support their wives and financially and wives were expected to support their husband and emotionally/domestiy. Men were groomed to be the "men of the house" and women were groomed to be "good wives and mothers." I think a lot of the problems with marriage today stem from a blurring of those rolls and people having to define their marriages for themselves with a LOT more gray area. It's WONDERFUL but also very confusing. Particularly since most people are unaware of just how much the feminist movement has changed our society as a whole. It's kind of nice to think that men of my generation actually think that women are their equals. It's still happening though and things are still be ironed out. Both of your examples prove my point. "Men need to help more" -> Indicative that the male gender roll still hasn't quite solidified to be "obvious" that men need to also do things traditionally thought of as a wife's roll. The need to keep dating their spouse, I think, is fallout from the fact that women are now able to walk away from marriage without being social pariahs. They have a lot more choices (choices traditionally reserved to men) and though it's a touchy subject it's not nearly as acceptable for husbands to rape their wives. The "not enough sex" issue and cheating has been a millenia arguement so not so new. Men have been keeping mistresses for as as there were "monogamous" relationships. What I think is interesting is that men are less able to go outside of their relationships without their wives/gf's leaving them and SO it also leaves a certain amount of responsibility on the part of the women to try and keep their menfolk happy. Again fallout from the blurring of gender rolls. Where women were previously more dependent and unable to leave in a lot of situations or chose to turn a blind eye, we more and more this cheating is unacceptable so now what? situation. wants for passion
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