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ca65 honest men 4 honest ladyThere was a fairly large break within the feminist movement several years ago (beginning in the late 70s, picking up steam in the 80's, exploding briefly in the 90's, and then quietly vanishing, at least as far as the mainstream was concerned) that was over exactly what you are discussing. A lot of artistic and scholarly work was done by queer women of color at that time, not so much as part of the feminist movement, but precisely intending to say that they were not part of it, and to ask why. People like Anzaldúa, Cisneros, Lord. There are any number of complex theories as to why this happens. Power. Bias. Racism or privilege amongst white feminists. Without disagreeing with any of those I think there's a little something to all of them I think a more fundamental issue that tends to affect almost any crusading cause is that they struggle very deeply with being able to recognize people as individuals. Often by definition, they are fighting for "women" or "the poor" (generic) and have blind spots when it comes to what those individual poor people or women or queers or whatever actually look like, and what their different needs and cultures are like. More dangerously, they tend to any sort of difference as fracturing "the cause," and so they are more than willing to throw individuals under the bus if they do not conform lock step to the vision of what "woman" is. Ultimately, "the cause" becomes more important and than the people within it. Women become more important than woman. This is a danger of fighting for ideas and not for people, and it is certainly not limited to white ladies. I do not think it is unavoidable, but it is often the likely outcome. IMHO, the only way to avoid it is to learn how to be willing to compromise and to learn to accept that real life requires some levels of injustice. Human life CANNOT be perfect. This is a cold position to take and so refuse to take it, but the result is that they become willing to fight the slightest injustice with disproportionate violence. Personally, I would rather be realistic and a little cold than naive and deadly. male sex toy
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On the nights our (4yo) is with my ex, ex is commuting him to his girlfriend's town ~1hr away. My concerns for the alternate Fri-Sat nights are relatively minor. But every Thurs, the ex picks him up late and they arrive 'home' at roughly his bedtime (still needing dinner, bath, etc). Then they have to get up v early for the ex to make it back here and then back to work (another hour) in time. On the alternate Fridays I pick him up, DS is an exhausted wreck. The ex says he GF are looking for a place here but that she stay in her town if they don't find a place before school starts (understandable from her perspective for the good of her own daughter). The ex GF are on a month vacation, and it's hard to find rentals here, so the moving-here plan seems unlikely. Our divorce agreement requires mediation before either of us can relocate. The ex maintains an address here, so he hasn't techniy relocated. Any insight as to whether the court this as violating the relocation terms and require the mediation? My is to convince (or force) the ex to stop commuting DS on school nights. Happy International Beer Day, btw. horny mom Sangbukchomnichumagol
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