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So I'm newly engaged and had been living at home for most of my life. My family and I have been very close so I mostly stayed out of enjoyment. The fiance and I have decided to move in together for the duration of our engagement until we are married. When we started discussing the idea of moving together, he didn't really mentioned my cats and neither did I. I always knew that I would take 2 of them with me and the other 2 would stay with my family. The first set of 2 were gotten by my mother when I graduated from 8th grade. In my mind it makes perfect sense that they would stay home. They are family cats. A few years later toward the end of my college years, I rescued a cat that I couldn't find a home for. Then a year later another cat appears (it must be raining cats where I live). My mother fell in with her and said she should be kept, okay, fine. A mutual agreement. So the issue is now that I am moving, my mother wants me to take ALL 4 of the cats. 2 of which are 12 years old and the other 2 which are 2yrs and 1yr. I mentioned that I would take the youngest ones (they get into the most trouble). My mother and I aren't agreeing on this issue. I personally feel like I am responsible for the cats I agreed to take on as an adult. The two cats from 8th grade,-,- years ago just aren't my responsibility. Needless to say we are both irritated. She mentioned giving them away! I think that is terrible. This relates back to the fiance because he won't tolerate more than two cats. I don't blame him, for most people, 1 cat is 1 too. I'm at a loss because my mother won't reason with me, the fiance doesn't want more than two cats, and I can't imagine giving the two eldest away because my mother is being stubborn. Who is right here? casual open minded chatI'm wondering how everyone handled the aftermath, so i'll post a little background about my situation first then get to my question. My story is simple, met someone and very quickly we became entangled. Jumped into a volatile relationship to begin with (she was fairly unstable, would have anger fits for no reason, throw things when she didn't get her way, her ex when i wasn't around so on.), i chose to overlook all these things and jumped in, i guess i figured i could fix her. Well after we became an official couple, she started spending money from my bank account (i should never have given her access but i did mistake was already made.) at first it was small amounts here and there, then it started getting out of control. When she was confronted about it she became angered and starting coming at me with nails, or whatever she could grab. I avoided hitting her (although at the end of there a few times I gave it some serious thought), I'm not a small guy 6' pounds, spent a lot of time at the gym, I knew if it ever got out of hand i'd end up doing some serious damage, so instead i chose to walk away, or take the hits and head out of the house for a few hours. SO finally I opted for divorce after 8 months of married life. Problem is I did not have a prenuptial agreement, and stood to lose a lot; at the time I had an apartment, several cars (a bit of a collection), and so on. At the start of the proceedings she said I was emotionally unavailable, always working even when at home (this part is somewhat true) and it seemed that things were going increasingly in her favor, I stated my side and how terrible life with her had been but it almost fell on def ears. So my lawyer decided the best thing to do was to sit down and settle, i was given a choice between giving her proceeds from a sale of my apartment or my life savings ($75, total), at the time my Apartment would have been worth roughly $ , so i opted in for the life savings, i wanted this to be over, but what my lawyer failed to tell me is that i would be paying for her lawyer fees as well (ooops mr. lawyer how kind of you). The fees totaled up to be over 45k between mine and hers i hear that isn't much according to some people, but it didn't matter. The only way i could get that money was pulling it off all my credit cards. So here i was 45k in debt executive dating service
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