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Good questions :) 1.) 10 years trust your gut with her. Trust what you know about her in bed and out. Definately focus on how you feel you are the Dom when intimate. Outside of intimacy those roles can be bounced around according to circumstance and rearing. If she's indicating submissive tendencies in bed there's a good you can work with it. One thing I found I was doing was always raising my hands above my head and clasping them together while getting fucked. Is she responsive but imitating being bound? There's clues like that to look for and nurture. There's a lot of submissive 'postures' adopted during intimacy too. After I realized that I was naturally doing those things I just sorta started looking it all up. I started with a book ed Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns. 2.) I always like the idea of writing a fantasy to her, maybe even stopping it mid stream or stopping it in parts and asking her to finish. Almost like a choose-your-own-adventure story. Or pick up your own bdsm reading (- aforementioned book), discuss what you are finding in there, maybe let her you perusing it from time to time and ask her questions about what you read. It can be non-fiction guidline type books (the topping book or the bottoming book) or it could even be bdsm erotic like something from author Sinclaire. 3.) You want to move at her pace since you are feeling her out. is key until she looks at you and says "this rocks!" and surges ahead. Or (hopefully not) she'll say "this isn't my style -". 4.) Trust the hints she's given, trust her body and trust her communication. Even go so far as to read her or tell her something nasty and ask her if she's wet or just reach down and feel/check yourself. It's always important to help her link her mind with her body. With women it starts in the mind and sometimes we forget our bodies are responding along with our minds and sometimes quicker than our minds. If you've successfully her into the bedroom she likes it kinky. Whenever she lets it out nurture and encourage. Tell her how much it turns you on when she's a naughty slut. Help her feel beautiful and sexy in her submission. She loves turning you on like you turning her on. Constantly praise her 'communication' of kink. cutie woman at Portland beachto learn more about different types of D/s. I can share some ideas here, but I have learned much over the past years from my involvement here, from groups on fetlife, from other digital resources, from books (both fiction and non-fiction), from talking with folks in our local MAsT chapter, and from talking with friends open to discussing a variety of relationship structures. D/s is all about power exchange who is giving more than "average" and who is taking more than "average" and what that looks like varies from one relationship to another. Some folks are in what are considered more "traditional" relationships, where the husband works outside of the home, and the wife is the homemaker. He controls the money, she keeps the house in order, and she follows his lead at all times. They would not say they were in a power exchange relationship, an they or not feel satisfied with their role, but I these types of relationships have qualities akin to M/s. Others not have and be self-employed in a business connected to the BDSM scene in some way, resulting in much more freedom to express their dynamic in any way they choose while at home, and possibly in other areas of their lives. Our family looks, and is, fairly typical from an outside perspective, it is the agreement I have with my husband and how we apply it that is what others consider "deviant". We have, and so I only kneel to have discussions with Master if they are out of the room/house, and then not all of the time. As parents raising girls, we are both committed to creating an empowering environment for them, and do not want my choice to submit to Master's color their opinion of women's power. I choose to submit, he did not take power from me until I asked him to, and I do not want my girls to the dominant male/monogamous heterosexual relationship model as the only option for them. Your relationship needs to fit the needs of you and your partner(s), as you are the only ones who live it. Relationships, and the contracts that bind them, must, in my opinion, be living and ever-changing. Ours has never been better! hot swinger
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