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Thanks for the proofreading at no cost to me, haha. I should've stated: Growing up causes of us to internalize the pain and criticism targeted our way by those who have no real stake in our lives. That internalized suppression of embarassment or outrage or sadness hardens when those close to us respond warily to our inherent sexuality or perceived identity defect; a tumor is born after the constant, unwarranted critique becomes too much, most times requiring psycho-therapy to halt its growth and shrink its impact on our individual lives. But when we let that emotional malignancy go without recognition of its negative effects on life, it taints the way we ourselves, obviously, but unfortunately it warps our perceptions of those around us. It's like a world where you always believed (and were taught) that pixie dust is the magical ingredient in gasoline that runs our cars. Your reality is skewed and skewered and leads to paranoia towards most things once the wool has been from your eyes about the ridiculous lie given to you about real life from people in all circles. The last paragraph of my initial rant was poorly constructed. But now given a second shot at it, I sense more how difficult it is for people tormented by inferiority complexes set in effect over years of unhealthy feedback about yourself to cope. You aren't the right gender or are damned with the wrong sexual tendency or display too much or too little skin pigment drumming up criticism about your core identity inextricably tied to your personality and the lens through which you view life. I guess if we stop hating ourselves, singularly, we have a better to treat others in this world acting as innocent bystanders to our lives with respect and kindness and some civility. Hate yourself, bottle the hurt, refuse to examine the emotional handicaps within and you'll be the next person to prompt someone like me to rant, digress, and rant some more about the subtle things humans do to tear down others. Addendum: Christ, thank you for braving that stream of hypothetical thought. I think I needed to clear a blockage or something. Ottrott amateur wives-people who identify as bi based on but have never had a same sex relationship I know someone like that who is very apolitical and it only takes a few experiences or relationships to politicize an identity but it does take a few. I've had a few bad experiences as a bi person including one involving physical violence that make me realize there is a double standard even though I still benefit from it. I read an essay that suggested the double standard ( the glaring inequality in the way our relationships are valued and the way we are treated) is actually something that fires up some openly bisexual activists. If you think of people like Califia or Rockway there's a demand for equal treatment that could be seen as a positive side effect of straight privilege or straight entitlement. You experience the way straight people or straight relationships are treated and the disparity makes you angry and then you demand the same treatment all the time. It could go both ways. The ability to pass and unequal treatment might make some people want to pass to get the better treatment. But it might also drive other people to demand equal treatment no matter what. That's why I'm skeptical of identity politics. Because the experience of being perceived as having different identities ( bi people, trans people, gender conforming or "passing" people) might in some cases actually politicize some people even as it makes others apolitical. dating older guys
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