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OK .divorced over a year (her wishes), separated for 3 years (traumatic separation, my fault). wonderful, house, pool, picket fence, volvo (i'm kidding about the volvo). We are both hard working professionals. No substance or health issues. We have been in this "mending" mode since the separation. Neither of us has dated other people. I am in an apt., paying support, the whole drill. Here's the bottom line. I have been very clear of my wishes to put this relationship back together and for us both to start living under the same roof again. We have been to couples counseling, wrote letters, phone s, dates, no dates, done everything except stand upside down and do the two step. She is still not able to say "yes, move back in and lets proceed". I am at the end of my rope and really feel it's time to start settling in to a new life. It's very scary to think of ending this but the writing appears to be on the wall. She tells me she loves me more than anyone in the world and to give her more time. I can't really hear that anymore, and believe it, as I remain the "outsider". I want sincere answers, not scolding. I am a good person, work hard, and did not plan on falling for another woman in this life. Here's the questions; Is there life after divorce? and/or Is it possible to have a thriving relationship with an ex after an affair? I am particularly interested in hearing from the females of the crowd. Again, I have been scolded and beat up already, I am looking for intelligent advice. board wives looking for sexso if YOU did not originally come up with the figures as what you would settle with and sign off on you ARE running the risk of escalating and creating a bad situation for you at home. Honestly, with drinking and irresponsibility already in the picture I have NO idea why you have not opened your own checking and savings account for your paychecks to go into, withdrawn half of the joint account and put it safely into savings for now, and printed out the DMV forms to change the registration and set up your own insurance policy to kick in asap! And you should have been securing your personal posessions in a locked room he cannot access or a storage facility for safety in any case if he is not always in charge of his actions, a la drinking. Unfortunately, today is a bank holiday and lots of things are closed. Fortunately, if your lawyer sent it in the mail today it won't even be picked UP until tomorrow for the same reasons. Get home, make s to the insurance company, you have to set up the new policy AND fil out a waiver removing him formally since you both reside in the same residence still. If you have online access to the joint account, view and print the account balance and the last month's charges for the record; then get down there and either ATM or one half of the float out. If there normally ISN'T any float, and you are worried about him just withdrawing the money used to pay the bills, YOU take the money out NOW- then, as each is electroniy due YOU deposit ONLY the sum needed to cover the bills no more than 24 hours prior; keep careful logs and lists of these actions and the bills due for the record. IF your paycheck is STILL going into the joint account, contact your PR department immediately to correct it to your new account, but expect it to take a MINIMUM of 3 weeks. Why hasn't your lawyer recommended any of these basic actions when filing for a divorce? Or, if they have, why haven't you DONE them?? Seriously, this is critical basic stuff when you AREN'T divorcing a drinker and having lawyers send demand letters! midget dating sight
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