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But as stated in my above response to F-G, we have two small dogs that we are both attached to and I would never keep him from seeing them. When I think in terms of "deserting" him, I do so because I would not leave our apt- he would. And he would go back and live with his mentally ill, addicted, alcoholic mother. Just being around her would probably send him back into a full-blown relapse that would land him in rehab, jail, or a grave. I don't think I'm ready to make the move that enables that change in his life. I him, certainly, and I do not want to him go down that terrible path. And since he is unemployed, he doesn't have other housing options that I can think of. I know I need to put myself first but I don't feel I'm ready to kick him out yet. I don't understand his decision not to engage in his hobbies.. I think they are anxiety reducing but his depression zaps his motivation and when he can barely motivate to get in the shower, playing guitar or writing music..well, that probably takes more motivation than hopping in the shower. i'm sorry if i made it sound like he has no interest in improving. He DOES want to improve. He wants nothing more than to have a relationship with me, to contribute, to get, to quit smoking, to do all the things he used to to do. He never learned coping skills and being without a good therapist and not being properly medicated, well, that seems to be a big hurdle to learning coping mechanisms. its arab amateur womans friday anyone want to chatwhat she needs. She still has a favorite doll, a guitar that she carries around, a favorite sweater, etc You get the picture. She said she's tired of moving all the time. She's only 8 and she's adamant about not liking this back and forth lifestyle. After school today I talked to her, offered to have a sit down with her dad and if we couldn't compromise a little. She looked at me like I was nuts and told me "You just don't get it. Neither one of you get it. I don't want to have to go somewhere all the time." What could I say. I just didn't say anything. Two days in a row that she has rendered me speechless. The bottom line is she doesn't want two houses, and she is going to have to have two houses even if she is unhappy that way. It makes me feel very guilty. divorced looking
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